With Mother's Day just around the corner, Jessica showed us what a classy, thoughtful customized gift looks like. Now let's delve into the darker side of personalizing, shall we? Don't be scared, I'll hold your hand.

While I'm all for the sweet keepsake, a line must be drawn somewhere, and I think this is already miles beyond that. When I hint around that I'd like jewelry for Mother's Day, I do not mean a giant shiny ring with clashing gems and my kid's name carved into it in block letters. Really. I'm not kidding.

So let's review a couple jewelry buying tips for those who might be tempted to pick up one of these beauties for mom:

1. Rings for mom should not be larger than the ones Liberace wore. I also believe engraving belongs on the inside, not the outside of the band. That way it's less of a shout-out, and more of a nice secret between the buyer and the wearer. Besides, you know all kinds of crap is gonna get stuck in the grooved letters, and what mom needs one more thing covered in crap on her hand?

2. Don't ever buy a ring called "Family Fun #2".

3. Ewwww, you can see right through Megan's skirt!

4. Having more than two children shouldn't mean you end up with a ring so heavy you couldn't pick up a coffee cup with that hand.

5. On a related note, the whole birthstone thing might seem cute, but no mom with more than one child is going to end up with gems that look good together. And do you really want to convince your child he was born in April, not May, so you can upgrade from an emerald to a diamond?

6. The four words that will help the most in your jewelry buying quest: Simple. Diamond. Stud. Earrings. Give her those and you are pretty much guaranteed to get something nice in return, if you know what I mean.

Hope that was helpful. Coming up soon: the very worst Mother's Day bling of all!