That headline? That sums up our week. When we weren't knee-deep in placenta juice (mmmmm), we were kicking kids out of restaurants, wondering why new moms are so damn selfish and getting an odd feeling that celebrities aren't using "yoga" to shed pregnancy pounds so much as having their stomachs nipped and tucked. Oh yeah, and there's mimes.
Our week begins not only with the thought of Ricki Lake naked, but also with the sad, sorry plight of her assistant, whose job it was to clean out the "placenta juice" from the home-birth bath tub. I can't thank you enough for such wonderful imagery Stefania ....
Chris Rock has long advised dads to keep their daughters off the pole -- the stripper pole. Jessica wants to know what advice Rock has for dads of boys -- considering he may just be one. And while he's at it, why not just form a playgroup for all the celebrity dads using DNA to confirm their progeny?
New SD streetwalker, er, I mean blogger Kelly Mills (oh just go look at her bio, silly) thinks yoga is code for "gastric bypass." But at least Courtney Love is thin again, and really, what else matters?
And then there's the ever-popular debate about kids in restaurants.
Crank Mama Rachael finally admitted it. You know all those people who
are "for the children?" She ain't one of them.
At least when it comes to toting tots to fancy restaurants or mommy's
day spa. Nothing brings out the smiles like the topic of kids and white
table cloths. Oh, and this is pretty funny, too.
Alisyn wonders whether she's too much of a Puritan and also whether 9 is too young to go strapless -- while parents, just like her, wonder why the hell Teri Hatcher has any pull at the White House anyway.
Patti is afraid of mimes and is probably still under her covers with a trusty baseball bat. Sound freakish? Just watch these guys and you'll understand. They've got nothing on "Pigs in Space."
Karen offers some sage advice for playground safety. Kids with beards? Yeah, it's time to go home.
Melissa uncovers Rosy the Riveter's private stash. Of art. Created by her kids. While Rosy was busy, ya know, building big-ass World War II battleships. Definitely worth a look.
Sarah takes on TomKat, advising newly 1-year-old Suri to come to her senses, get on her feet and run, Forrest, run! OK, maybe that's just me. Still, it's good advice. As Sarah says, her parentals are freakshows.
And I admitted something you've known all along. I'm a dork. And, oddly, quite proud of it.
Finally, I'm not exactly sure which evil genius here at Babble thought up the idea of our best. feature. ever. -- "Hitting the Bottle" -- but hats off, my friend. Followed by my shoes, my socks, my pants, shirt, underwear, watch, sock garters (what?) after just a few of the "Free Babysitters," Gin and Tequila? I just hope the babysitter's easy, too.
