What we mamas at Strollerderby want for Mother's Day is a lovingly-crafted homemade card, a sweet backyard bouquet, and the love and adoration of our childr—
Okay, I can't even front. Let's cut the crap. Dads and partners, listen up. What we want for Mother's Day is to be left the frack alone. We don't want to have to even think about cooking something, feeding someone, or anything involving folding, wiping, or cleaning on Mother's Day until at least 3:00-4:00 o' clock. If you can arrange a full 24 hours that would be great. In lieu of that, here are some other suggestions.
- Sarah would like "wine with no 'h' and a cleaning service."
- Karen wants a "Bicker-Free Day, or a month off with pay....let's see, $138,000/12 = $11,000. That works."
- Sarah changes her mind and wants the money, too.
- Crankmama wants alone time, and if she sees the word Hallmark anywhere near her, she's "going postal."
- Kelly is requesting "five or so hours to herself to do whatever. Alone. And when she comes back from some really gratuitous shopping and lots of good restaurant food, she wants her house to be spotless. And then everyone has to do what she says for the rest of the day, so she can be 'mom, the temperamental dictator.'"
According to a recent Dunkin' Donuts survey, the thing 70% of moms most want on Mother's Day is not flowers or a conflict diamond pendant: it's sleep, dads. Sweet, beautiful sleep.
That's all I want, too. And you best believe I ain't changing a single diaper on Sunday.
