For the past few months, I have been teetering on the edge of lunacy, working more hours with not enough daycare, staying up too late to meet deadlines during the exact period of time my toddler's begun waking up literally at the crack of dawn and feeling like every task is accomplished by some minor miracle rather than brain power or energy exertion. And even though I regularly feel like I'm holding the entire world on my tensed up shoulders, I know all too well that this is a very familiar scenario for every working mother I know.
The pull of professional and personal stretches many of us working mothers very thin, so I love insights, like this one from CareerBuilder.com's CSO and mother of three Mary Delaney, on how to avoid the strain on both sides.
First, the professional sanity. Although I've yet to hear a real account from someone I know who works for a company that actively tries to reduce all this working parent insanity, there are apparently women who have worked out some pretty good professional situations with their employers. The existence of parent-friendly companies is supported by a CareerBuilder.com survey of over a thousand full-time working mothers. Four out of ten respondants cite access to flexible work arrangements with their employers. I personally have yet to meet these four, but I am sure they really do exist. The programs and the women. No, really. I am sure they do.
If you are going to approach your boss about incorporating a flexible work schedule into your job description, apparently it is a good idea to first do your homework. Delaney suggests making a strong case for why flex hours will make you a more productive worker and how you will ease into the new arrangement. Just like with your small child (that's my suggestion, not hers), she says you also need to be prepared to negotiate.
Second, the personal sanity. Delaney says that even if your job arrangements are ideal, as a working mother you are still likely to be the primary caregiver to your child. She also says that one in four women are not happy with the work/life balance they (don't) have. Again, I wonder where those other three women are and who the hell they are really working for. Finally, Delaney offers these three tips for doing the mama with a job thing:
1. Date night. Forget your husband and schedule individual time with your kids. She says to worry less about how often you squeezing your dates in and focus on the Q in the T.
2. Family calendar. She says to keep one main one for the whole fam. I would add "update the calendar" to that since without some real discipline on my part, our calendar would easily stay stuck on February all year round.
3. Unplug. That is, go on vacation, even if just for the day. And really blow off the boss when you do. And when your boss bitches you out for being offline all afternoon, then just come back with all your homework on why being absent really does make you a better employee. I'm sure it will work.
I think these suggestions are certainly a step in the direction of women voicing their needs as parents and as professionals, but I wonder if it is enough? They don't really serve me or my (in)sanity. Working moms out there, do they work for you?
