The National Review Online published
this column claiming that married mothers deserve special praise, because staying married is soooo much better for the children. After a couple of creepy digs at single motherhood and sperm donors (and the
NY Times, of course) author W. Bradford Wilcox claims, "...
married mothers serve our nation's neighborhoods, children, and even themselves better than any of the dizzying array of alternatives to married motherhood. This truth was abundantly clear to me after surveying the social-scientific literature on marriage and child well-being with 15 other family scholars for a recent report, Why Marriage Matters: Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences."
Oh. The link is to an organization called the Institute for American Values, which puts out all kinds of socially conservative studies, often with an array of supporters from both political camps. A few years back they told us that kids are hardwired to need religion. However, some divorce studies have been questioned by other researchers, for a couple of key reasons. One of the biggies is that when it comes to divorce, it's sometimes hard to know where the real problem lies. For example, if couples divorce because of certain marital issues, and it can be hard to determine if the divorce itself messed with the kids, or if it was those other issues. Another problem is that some studies ask children of divorce to self-report levels of happiness, and it's hard to know if those folks claim greater angst because their parents' problems were identified and perhaps more openly discussed.
We do know that financial and emotional resources can be limited for single parents- but does that mean staying in an unhappy marriage is the best answer? What about better community support for solo parents? More educational and career resources so prevent poverty? Affordable daycare and health coverage? Nope, stay with that man, ladies, even if you can hardly stand him.
Whether you buy the divorce research or not, you should know I love this quote from the article: "Marriage also binds children to their fathers, who usually find it very
difficult to maintain consistent and positive relationships with their
children without the support and encouragement of their children’s
mother." I think that is strong enough to be patently insulting to fathers everywhere. Maybe you menfolk didn't know you need us women around if you want to stay close to your kids. On behalf of great dads, and especially great single dads everywhere, I say "UGH!"
This little gem wraps up with this: "So, this Mother’s Day, lift a glass to dear old Mom, and lift it
especially high if she honored the vows she made on her wedding day." This "dear old Mom" would like to barf when she reads crap like that. If Wilcox thinks it's my responsibility to honor those vows and hold the family together, I'd almost like to contact my attorney.
