Anti-racist parent bloggers ask the question: Why should adoptees be grateful?  Author Margie Perscheid summarizes this way: I believe the mainstream views adoption through a lens of charity. People who have plenty are encouraged to give - and the poor are conditioned to be grateful.

Those who receive charity (adoptees) are meant to feel gratitude.   Children, no matter how they come into our lives owe us no debt of gratitude at all.  Parents who wait around to feel deeply thoughtfully appreciated for choosing to make a family with their children, are in for a long, hard, disappointing wait.

Kids who are adopted owe no more gratitude to their parents than biological children.  And to think otherwise will create a poison environment of resentment between parent and child.

[vis Anti-Racist Parent]