Dear U.S. Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers,
I read recently
that your new baby has been diagnosed with Down syndrome. Believe me, I
can completely relate; my son Eric is now three and it wasn't long ago
that I began the same journey of grief and acceptance that you are
beginning. (This is him in the photo; isn't he beautiful?) I have a few
words of advice for you.
First, don't listen to anyone else.
That's right, not even me. Only you know best what's right for your
child. There are plenty of "experts" out there who will be more than
happy to tell you what your son Cole's life will look like. Don't
believe them. Right now, his possibilities are endless. Know that,
truly believe that, and they will be so.
Next, listen to anyone
you can (you're saying "huh?" right about now, I can tell). There is an
enormous amount of information out there. Learn to take it in
small-enough doses so that you can sift through it intelligently. Join
parenting support groups, online support groups. Acquaint yourself with
the Down syndrome culture out there. Realize what wonderful, beautiful,
amazing things that other kids with Down syndrome are doing and what
their parents are doing to help them get there. I guarantee you'll be
surprised. Look, too, at the number of adults with Down syndrome you
suddenly see in surprising places. Try to see Cole's life through their
eyes.
Third, this baby is here to teach you something. There is
not a person with Down syndrome I have ever run across who doesn't seem
to be on a mission of some sort, if only to spread love and joy or
simply acceptance around them. Not a bad calling, if you ask me.
Lastly,
allow yourself to really grieve for the child you didn't have. We all
go through this, and it's okay. A dream died when you were told who
Cole really is, and you should allow that death to settle. And then
look into his beautiful eyes and really say hello to your tiny son.
Then you can see him for who he is.
Hugs,
A mama who's been there
P.S.
I forgot to mention: with your visibility and your political knowhow,
maybe you could help make a difference for other kids with Down
syndrome too.
