It's that time again! Time for that dreaded trip to the greeting card aisle to pick out a masculine card for the dad you still haven't forgiven for shaming you out of trying out for the pom squad or to find a card that perfectly combines the humor and heart-felt sentiments for the father who you mimic everyday while singing Wheels on the Bus with your own wee ones. As if that's not enough pressure, Blockbuster, struggling movie rentees and icons of scientific family relationship research, has just released the results of a longitudinal, worldwide survey (not really but they also say they don't charge late fees anymore -- ha!) on the best dads on- and off-screen.
Predictably, the top pic for "Movie Dads You'd Most Like As Your Own" is Chris Gardner, profiled in Pursuit of Happyness and played by Will Smith. In second place is Father of the Bride's George Banks, played lovable and bumbly by Steve Martin. In third place is Gregory Peck's portrayal of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird, which makes me think that some ambitious junior-year high school English teacher offered up a boatload of extra credit points to students who chose him in the survey.
Topping the "Movie Dads Most Like Your Own" category are (again) George Banks, Robert DeNiro's Jack Byrnes' lie detecting dad character in Meet the Parents, and Chevy Chase's timelessly hilarious and embarrassing Clark Griswold, Eugene Levy's portrayal of "Jim's Dad" in American Pie. I have to admit that, as much as I've laughed at these funny fathers and as much as one or more of them may (I said may) slightly resemble my own dad, I sure wouldn't admit it. Especially to the assholes who constantly charged me for movies I totally returned on time.
The final category, "Celebrity Dads You'd Like As Your Own," confused me the most. I get the oh[so obvious pics of Papas Pitt and Smith but the others -- Daddies Cruise, Crowe and Affleck -- have me puzzled. What? No Ozzy? No Jude Law? No K-Fed?
