My 14-month-old daughter's bedtime routine is a well-oiled machine. She sleeps in her crib all night. And her mother and I enjoy a little alone time to truly bond as a couple and do something we can't do in front of our child: Watch TV for five straight hours. A recent vacation changed all that.
Emmeline refused to sleep in her porta-crib, and because she has developed a singularly charming trait of vomiting whenever she's frightened, she quickly soiled her sheets. So Dana and I brought her into bed with us.
Big mistake.
While Emme immediately fell asleep in our bed -- probably happy to sleep on a mattress not covered in her dinner -- she also immediately took to kicking me in the stomach. A few hours later, her feet magically shifted from my mid-section and turned toward my head, battering my teeth with roundhouses and crane kicks that would make Mr. Miyagi proud.
Around 1 a.m. I turned and saw Dana was still awake.
"I don't think I've slept at all," I whispered.
Dana groaned. "I think she broke my rib."
For months Dana had wanted to slip Emme out of her crib and bring her into bed, but because the kid sleeps so well at home, we were reluctant to try it. Now, after four nights of co-"sleeping," I doubt we ever will again.
We're back home now, and Emme is sleeping bodily fluid-free in her crib while Dana and I are watching "Top Chef" and "Dog the Bounty Hunter."
"You know," Dana said, "We're going to Michigan in a few weeks, and I don't know if I can take another vacation like this one. Should we cancel until she's 10?"
So how do you co-sleepers do it? Do your kids eventually stop kicking you and biting you? (Emme actually sucked on my shoulder blade at one point.) Or do you just learn to cope with that deep, special sleep that comes with a stiff kick to the groin?
