My kids attend a Waldorf school that, like many Waldorf schools that struggle somewhat financially and strive to provide education that's within the reach of families in various financial circumstances, relies heavily on fundraising throughout the year to make ends meet. So the annual benefit auction is a big deal. The first few years we were with the school, the auctions were child-friendly: after all, the auction was, in essence, *for* the kids, in a way, as the money received went directly to the school and providing materials and eduction for them. My kids loved the magical atmosphere and flitted from room to room, sampling delicious food and reporting on important items that they wanted me to bid on in the hopes we would win them and take them home. We all looked forward to the auction all year.
Then the auction committee decided to make it an adult-only event and discouraged children from attending. It felt like some of the heart went out of the event for me then, and it became yet-another chi-chi occasion of the sort I avoided anyway, chock-full of people wearing clothes they normally wouldn't, laughing too loudly and generally not being themselves. Not having a babysitter handy, I stayed home that first year. The second year of adult-only I stayed home out of protest. It wasn't fun anymore, not for me.
I guess this is a sensitive issue and it's being pondered over at The Wall Street Journal: while I'd never insist that my kids attend a gathering and would never knowingly taken them where they weren't wanted, I agree that if my kids aren't invited it's likely I'll stay home. I have taken them places where they were ostensibly and grudgingly welcomed, and none of us were comfortable. So why bother?
At the same time, I value the opportunity to spend time with other adults without children present. We need time and space to remember who we were before someone called us Mommy or Daddy and who we are outside of the person who wipes noses and butts.
But I'm just not that motivated right now to seek out adult-only venues. I made a choice to have children and I am making a choice to spend time with them. If that means I don't attend your adult-only party, then so be it. My kids won't be little for all that long and I'm just not that interested in paying a sitter to be with them when it could be me. And as such, I'm going to tend to hang out with other people in similar circumstances making similar choices.
What about you? Do you tend to socialize with other families where kids are part of the social plan, or do you prefer to leave the kids at home?
