I thought I'd begin this post on having a challenging kid by writing something along the lines of, "Hey, mother/father/caregiving grandparent/au pair of the screaming, kicky kid in playgroup, you know who you are!" The truth is that my own child certainly has his challenging moments and I imagine I am not alone in wondering if I am indeed doing the best I can or if I am caught in a stall of the Costco bathroom with a tantruming toddler in a strange karmic repayment for sneaking boyfriends in my bedroom window or "misplacing" so many library books. Sure, my boy's 90% honey but there's also that 10% day-past-sell-by-date milk part of him that I admittedly don't talk about very often. I'm not always so good with what to do with milk that's pushed past its sell-by date. Throw it out? Just deal with it despite the hint of sourness? Pretend it's absolutely fine, thank you very much?
I love how straightforward our own Melissa Summers is about how hellish the challenges can be in raising a challenging kid. Maybe I took to this post so much because I've seen so many conversations among parents completely halted once one chimes in about how adorable and precious her own child is but some of my most meaningful talks with other parents have started along the lines of "He won't stop biting me and I've tried everything to stop it and I am not sure I can do this anymore..." or "She's up every hour and I am trying to figure out why the hell I got myself into this whole baby thing to begin with..." Sure, I'm a sucker for the kidisms in magazines and cutesy stories from my favorite parent friends, but I also know that sometimes talking about the tough stuff opens the door to more support and heads nods than you could imagine. After all, I never doubt myself as a parent more than I do in those hair-pulling moments and it's good to be validated, advised or just listened to after it's all (finally, God spare us) over.
Of course, true confessions of any parenting kind also open the door to lots and lots of judgment. But I think if we all think back on those break-of-dawn breakdowns and bathroom stall pranic breathing sessions, we'd all say that we have -- at least for those moments -- challenging kids. I guess the question is, how do you deal with the sourness when it comes, especially when it comes often?
