What is it about a child who is left out? Their palpable loneliness and disappointment when other kids exclude them from play for reasons of age, disability, or difference, is so painful to watch. As a parent, one of the challenges is of course to decide when to intervene and solve and when to hang back and let your child sort it out for him or herself. And of course there comes the day when you can't be there -- when your child faces school bullies, or cliques, or worse, all alone.
Then there is the small matter of families with some children starting school and some who aren't. Despite government initiatives to the contrary, younger siblings are absolutely and thoroughly left behind as their older pals leave on new and exciting Kindergarten ventures. And even though it doesn't hold a candle to the exclusion some kids experience throughout their lives, there is something universally sad about the one who plaintively cries "but *I* want to go to school too, Mama!"
Sometimes I think parenting is learning to tolerate a loved ones heartache (or frustration or irrational tantrum) and helping them find the tools and the strength to comfort themselves. Other times, I think parenting teaches us to protect innocence, wonder, and trust long after we may have lost our own. Today, as my twin daughters walked into Kindergarten and their younger sister realized that for the very first time she could not go along, her heartbreak as she yelled out "but it's MY Kindergarten" nearly ruined me. Being left behind is an important part of the human experience. And though I won't be able to shield all the children in the world from experiencing it needlessly, sometimes I wish I could.
