This
Wall Street Journal article about children who
collect art gets on my nerves. I’ve got nothing against art, nothing against
collecting and nothing against kids. But I hate how a gallery owner gushes
about a young girl’s “great eye” after the nine-year-old handed over more than
$5,000 for a porcelain basket covered with tiny platinum elephants. Basket?
Elephants? Sounds like something four out of five nine-year-old girls might
pick out if given such a substantial knick-knack budget. The rest of the girl’s
40-piece collection – which the young collector says focuses on animals, “happy
colors” such as pink and yellow, and includes a Warhol panda – is equally as
unsurprising if you ignore the cost, value and artist’s signatures.
Parents of these young collectors are nonetheless impressed.
One teen art collector’s mother praises her son’s aesthetic. He collects art
made of candy. Wow! Kids and candy. Like oil and water. What an old soul this
woman is raising! Among his favorites, a Spanish cathedral made from chocolate
syrup, a wall-hanging made entirely of candy bars, and pictures of lollipops
and candied cherries. Of his candy portrait that is also a puzzle he says: “I
love it because it just makes me want candy.” Somebody get this kid to a
7Eleven!
There’s also the 11-year-old who raised his paddle for the
winning bid on a Jeff Koons gnome
sculpture. More than $350,000.
Don’t get me wrong. Enthusiastic art appreciation is great –
you’re never too young to be exposed to good art. But these kids are taken seriously
for being attracted to objects and pictures that appeal to just about every
kid – a panda! a gnome! a Ritter Sport
chocolate bar!
The fact that they are choosing works of art from the likes
of Basquiat and Warhol and (seriously?) Rembrandt is hardly the sign of a young genius. (Said Rembrandt purchaser called the high-priced sketch he acquired “awesome.”) The galleries, auction houses and art shows where these parents
take their kids to shop don’t exactly display works from the middle school art
club. To come away from one of those places with a valuable piece is like
shooting fish in a barrel. They can’t miss.
On a side note, I’m putting in for a tooth-fairy
transfer One of the young collector’s parents said his kids shop and bid with, among
other cash sources, money for leaving baby teeth under their pillow. Our tooth
fairy barely leaves enough for a tube of glitter glue.
