From the NY Times' Modern Love section comes a very well-written and interesting essay by author Maria Dahvana Headley on the travails of becoming a stepmother. Living in New York City, she had started dating a man who was based in Seattle and had two children from a previous marriage. At first, her sporadic visits to Seattle were filled with fun and games. She made cookies, conducted fun art projects, and read the kids fairy tales. In turn, the children absolutely adored her.
Two years later, when the girl and the boy were 11 and 8, and the parents were officially divorced with a shared custody agreement, she packed up her 15 boxes of books, rented an apartment in Seattle and made the cross-country move, convinced, at the tender age of 23, that stepparenting came naturally to her.
Needless to say, what followed was a decade-long exercise in humility that almost crushed her emotionally and made her want to give up on the entire relationship with the child's father.
Thankfully, she stuck it out, and in the process, learns important lessons about both herself and the dynamics of a modern family. Check out the essay. It's a touching story about family that I think you'll enjoy.
About MetroDad
I'm a French-named, speed-reading, former public policy analyst now trapped in the body of a Asian-American fashion executive. I've ridden elephants in Sri Lanka, imbibed snake venom in China, skiied the Italian Dolomites, eaten barbecue in Pakistan, travelled to every state except North Dakota, visited 28 out of 32 major league ballparks, worshipped at the altar of Graceland 5 times and have shut down most of the nightclubs in Paris. That being said, I still get lost every time I go through the Lincoln Tunnel.
It's safe to say that we'd probably get along if you can truly appreciate the real beauty in...a good Peking duck, Sunday's NYT crossword, nice manners, Scrabble, Law & Order, spontaneous travel, Otoro, Jim Jarmusch, Tabasco sauce, Morrissey, Haruki Murakami, Peets coffee, Radiohead, listening to baseball games on the radio, Thievery Corporation, X-Men comics, fresh powder, Southern BBQ, Christopher Hitchens, bloomin' onions, mid-century design, the warmth of a good scotch, a great day spent fishing where you didn't catch a damn thing...
On a related note, I'd like to believe that I probably have absolutely nothing in common with another human being who really loves any of the following: pro bass fishing on tv, NASCAR, low carb Cabernet, Kathey Griffin, Microsoft, the Olsens, Applebees, Jessica Simpson, romance novels, tofu bacon, Pamela Anderson, ballet, "Survivor" or HUMMERs. Similarly, I could also never be friends with someone who mixes up "they're", "there", and "their". I will give you a smidge of credit if you know the difference between "if" and "whether". But if you leave any participles dangling, we're breaking up.
In conclusion, let me just say...
Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.
(The Designater Hitter Rule has got to go)
