Strollerderby

My strong feeling is to follow the kid's lead.  When he/she starts exhibiting a desire for privacy (changing clothes behind a closed door, wanting to be alone in the bathroom), then the parents should follow suit.  From my experience, that happens around 4-8 years old.  Until then, no reason to act all horrified during bathtime, dressing, etc.

I am of the belief that nature is nature and we are what we are and we should be comfortable in our bodies. I think Agnes is right, follow your child and her comfort level. There may come a time when she doesn't want you to see her naked body, but you still may not care if she sees yours. If she doesn't want to then she can go elsewhere in the house, etc.

Ettamommy once wrote a great response to this query, ask her to forward it to you, Kelli!

I'd always heard that the rule of thumb was when you felt uncomfortable then it was time to not be naked - I'd never thought of the obvious follow the kids lead (duh on my part).

I have a friend who realized it was time to decrease the naked  time when she was shaving her legs in front of her 2 year old and he picked up the shower sqeegee and "shaved" her pubes.

I had always heard that the age to curtail nakedness was 4, but only for opposite sex children.  Like moms should try to limit nakedness around sons, but who cares if their daughter sees them?  My son is 3 and still sees me naked, and I've been trying to teach him about privacy, but not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed.  Just because I'd like to use the bathroom in peace.

LogicalMama, I'm glad you still have a memory because I sure as hell don't. I'm sure I did respond about this somewhere once because it's sort of a hot button topic for me.

I helped raise my step-daughters who are now teenagers (God help us. I you think parenting a toddler is rough, wait until you parent something that acts like a toddler but also has a driver's license, friends who drink and do drugs and boyfriends who want to have sex). Anyway, we never got weird about being naked in front of them. Like my 4 year old now, when my youngest step-daughter was 4, she liked to take a bath with her dad. My friends at the time gave me soooo much grief about this - "It's not appropriate for her to see him naked. How do you know it's innocent? Etc." And my husband and I would talk about it and both felt that it would be weird to suddenly stop taking baths (or showers at the swim club) with his kids. It would make the whole naked body thing seem suddenly taboo. So, instead, we talked about who is allowed to be naked in front of them, how bodies are private and how they don't have to let us see their naked bodies if they don't want us to. They would just look at us like we have 2 heads (like my daughter does now when I ask he to give me privacy in the bathroom).

And sure enough, around age 5, my youngest step-daughter asked for privacy from her dad. And she asked me for privacy around age 8. And to this day, neither one of them can change in front of me without turning their back.

But can they prance around in bikinis like there's not a self-conscious bone in their bodies?, Uh, yup.

So, I say let your child lead. And remember to talk about how bodies are private. It helps set early boundaries, which is what this is all about anyway.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one still letting their 3-year old DS see them naked. I never even thought to be concerned until I read the Slate article. He still wants me to help him dress and undress and he doesn't even seem to notice when I'm undressed. Probably because we've never made a big deal out of it. I figure when he starts showing signs of discomfort we'll change our routines. In the meantime live and let live.

I don't think we could all get showered and dressed and out the door in the morning if it didn't involve my husband and I rushing around in some state of nakedness! And, I think everyone else's point about taking the child's lead is so right. You'll know when it's time, and presumably they'll be old enough not to barge in and ask you to read a story while you're in the shower.