Miss America Lauren Nelson has teamed up with the Children's Educational Network to create a web browser for kids. The Miss America Kid-Safe Web Browser uses boring old blocking technology anyone can get, but has added bonus of an animated Lauren Nelson, who will keep your kids away from inappropriate sites. Cuz I totally don't want my kid surfing porn sites featuring naked or scantily-clad women who haven't even won a talent competition. You can also get the animated Miss America to remind kids to do chores or say while checking e-mail, "Don't forget to e-mail your parents now and then!" The purpose of which, I assume, is to make the internet utterly unappealing to children, thus reducing their likelihood of encountering online danger.
When the surfing starts, the animated Nelson walks across the screen in her glittery tiara while the Miss America theme song plays. Does it have lyrics? Could my child learn, "There she is, Miss America/ There she is, your ideal..." Yippee. I do wonder if the browser allows access to child beauty pageant sites. Seems only right. Well, at least it blocks access to places where pedophiles lurk. Ahem.