I am super excited about the just-mailed Victoria’s Secret holiday catalogue because it’s going to make “Santa’s” job so much easier when it comes to gifts for my daughters. I have been wondering how to get my older one more interested in her appearance and the sexy, sexy things that are out there for her to experiment with, feel pretty in, those things that will help her upgrade from just girl to an even better girly-girl.

I mean, right now her response to bras is giggles, maybe a rousing chant of “boobs, boobs!” with her little sister, so I’d like to find a way to get her to take it more seriously. After all, she’s going to be seven years old soon.

Enter: the VS Pink label, and especially these plush dress-up dolls!

Described as “plush and pretty plaything for the ultimate girly-girl. Comes with two interchangeable outfits: lingerie and a dress,” interchangeable, I suppose, because when you’re wearing one, surely you’re not wearing the other! Sizzle.

Just get her a Barbie, you say? She has those. Whatever. Barbie isn’t going to get her celebrating her (non-existent) sexuality any more than Mattel’s other pink and purple toys, you know? How’s Barbie going to get her comfortable in a AAAA push-up and tiny-heiny thong in time for school pictures next year? (Yes, she'll wear something over them, I just want her to feel scandalously pretty.) See, I figure interacting with her plush girly-girl VS doll -- slipping on the tiny bras or stripping her down for a late-night tickle fight -- she’s opening her mind to the Victoria’s Secret brand, a company that works to demonstrate how girls really look and how they love to (mis)behave (wink!). Having fun with the soft, happy dolls -- with their youthful hairstyles and adolescent proportions -- could help take some of the “for women only” notions surrounding Victoria’s Secret, and skimpy bras and underwear in general, out of her pretty (and pre-sexy) little head. Together, they’ll usher her into the tender, mysterious phase that, seriously, has been put off far too long. Why wait for actual breasts when you can create them with push-up gel bras in fun, party colors? Quit revealing your high-waisted, floral, combed-cotton spanky pants! These low-rise, high-cut bikini’s will lengthen those 6X legs better than any pair of stilettos. When she’s a little bigger,she'll eat up the panties packaged as lollipops and ice-cream cones! Lickably sweet!

If girls just understood that underneath it all, they’re fun, playful, sexy, girly-girls who love nothing more than putting on and taking of big satiny microfiber undies, I wouldn’t have to spend $15 each on the Victoria’s Secret dolls. But I will, because I get it.

Whatever it takes, you know? Whatever it takes.