Oh yes, the year isn't complete until this list comes out. Compiled by World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. (W.A.T.C.H), which should totally have been on Get Smart, the annual Ten Worst Toys is a list of the toys (also known as the What the Fuck Were They Thinking? Awards) that have the most potential to cause childhood injuries or even death to children. Ready for the list?
1. Go, Diego, Go! Animal Rescue Boat. Covered with lead. Don't lick it.
2. Sticky Stones. Magnetic "stones": how many ways can these be wrong? They're a choking hazard and they're magnets which cause all sorts of problems (like death) if swallowed. Avoid.
3. Jack Sparrow's Spinning Dagger. Hard plastic dagger straps to a kid's wrist and spins. You're gonna poke your eye out, kid.
4. Dora the Explorer Lamp. Problem is, kids are instructed to unplug it when not in use. Otherwise? It's a fire, shock, and burn hazard. Yeah, somebody was thinking there, eh?
5. Lil "Giddy Up" Horse Sassy Pet Saks. Also wins Worst Name Award. But the tag on the horse states it's for newborns while the tag on the carrier says it's for toddlers 18 months and older. Huh? Plus, the wooden bead on it is chokable as are the long fibers of the fur. Bleh.
6. Spider Man 3 New Goblin Sword. The sword part extends swiftly from the handle when a button is pushed. Kind of like an automatic umbrella, and I don't see those being complained about (yet they're not sold expressly for kids, those umbrellas). You're gonna poke your eye out, kid.
7. Hip Hoppa. It's a foot board attached atop a ball. Clearly, a fair amount of falling will be involved. Don't hit your head on the hard pavement, 'kay?
8. B'loonies Party Pack. Put a gob of molten chemical waste on the end of a tube and blow: instant balloons! Sort of. I have owned these, and they're kind of lame. Apparently, that toxic chemical waste can also be aspirated if the kid forgets which way to blow. Oh, and it's, uh, flammable. Not to mention emits toxic fumes.
9. My Little Baby Born. Aww, cute baby doll comes with a pacifier that's detachable and you KNOW your kid is going to put it in their own mouth = choking hazard.
10. Rubber Band Shooter. You're gonna shoot your eye out, kid.
