I have listened to so much children's music and heard so many cartoon earworms that when I whistle or hum, the theme-song to "Caillou" usually comes out before one of my favorite grown-up songs. After a while though, it just became background noise, the soundtrack for time when I'm with my son.
Apparently some parents can't stand it though, so instead they're snapping up lullaby versions of their favorite Metallica, Pink Floyd, and the Clash albums from stores like Rockabye Baby and Punk Rock Baby. And if the music isn't enough to proclaim your superior musical tastes, you can dress your kids in smarmy Sex Pistols hoodies and "I Hate James Blunt" t-shirts. "In these days of shows like 'American Idol,' the fear of having your children growing up listening to Britney [Spears] or Justin [Timberlake] makes it important to preserve the parents' taste within the offspring," crowed Ian Walker, founder of Punk Rock Baby.
I've said this before and I'll say it again: buying your kid neutered versions of rock music because you're afraid of exposing them to the real thing is so not punk rock. And neither is buying overpriced clothing to turn them into a pudgy, drooling accessory that attempts to validate your coolness. Rockabye Baby sells an album of Coldplay lullabies, for Pete's sake; how is that any different from the real thing?
Look, I can relent on the bedtime music, because "Smells Like Teen Spirit" could be a little jarring. But if you want to play your kid soothing music that doesn't suck, put on some Coltrane or one of Beck's alternating mopey albums. And as much as I hate to rely on Neal Pollack as an expert witness, you can't turn you kid on to good music too soon, else you'll be doomed to a life of Kidz Bop.
