Affairs can obviously be relationship deal-breakers, but do they have to be? Marital therapist Andrew G. Marshall sounds off on the issue in the Times. This question is probably especially relevant for parents, because those of us with a partner at home aren't just in our relationships for good times and personal satisfaction and all that. We have children we raise together, so if our relationships lack a certain, um, bedroom va-va-voom, then perhaps straying can take the edge off all of that. Or a little side action can bring to light problems on the homefront that aren't getting addressed. But is it worth the risk?
I'll cut to the chase and say Marshall basically concludes with, "it would be better to recognise the signs that something
is missing in your relationship and work on it. There might be unexpected
benefits to the discovery of an affair, but the negatives–betrayal,
jealousy and desire for revenge–can overwhelm everything else." So I guess the answer is no, don't do it. 'Course I think there's about three people in the world who had an affair because they honestly thought it would be a good idea and a relationship aid. The rest probably got caught up by all the things that actually motivate affairs, and that isn't going to stop any time soon. So, my question is this: Would you do it, or have you, and were there benefits? Would it be a deal-breaker if your partner cheated? Is it reasonable to stay together for the sake of the kids, and if having a side project helps with that, is it worth it?
