One of our oldest son’s favorite books when he was younger, which was read to him a Guinness Book record 1,097,653 times in one calendar year, was called “Eight Silly Monkeys”. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? It begins, “Eight silly monkeys sitting sedately on the floor. One got up and walked out the door. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said, “I’m not sure what I can do for you Mrs. Monkey. Walking out the door really isn’t a medical issue.” OK, so maybe the book didn’t read exactly like that but it might someday if certain publishers who have taken to censoring children’s books have anything to do with it.
Editors stricken with an acute strain of the PC bug are taking the heavy red pen of censorship to children’s books due to concerns of health and safety. In one book called “Who Wants a Dragon?” publishers insisted a scene containing a Dragon toasting marshmallows on flames from his nostrils be changed because “it looked dangerous and goes against health and safety.” When did John Ashcroft start editing children’s books? Seriously, what’s the point of being able to breathe fire out of your nose if you can’t whip up the occasional batch of S’mores? It wasn’t like he was lighting his farts, which in certain freshman college dorms after a couple wine coolers is actually pretty funny; I mean from what I’ve heard.
In another book a boy climbing a ladder was deemed precarious and was changed, oddly enough, to a boy standing on three stacked paint cans. They might as well have just dressed him in an oily rag Superman cape and stood him next to a dragon with an open bag of Stay-Pufts.
This is nothing more than PC extremists covering their own asses while enabling some parents to surrender yet another responsibility in their children’s upbringing. For me this is as bad as when Sesame Street sold out and bastardized Cookie Monster into some vegetable eating namby pamby. Children are so inundated with influential messages from friends, television, books, movies, the internet and a thousand other sources parents need to guide them in learning to process these messages, in comparing them to the values they’ve been taught and hopefully in making the right choices. Sheltering a child will not teach them the right message nor will censoring a harmless children’s book protect kids from the risks they’ll encounter in real life.
What’s next? How The Grinch Politely Asked To Borrow Christmas Then Returned It In A Timely Fashion And Said Thank You? I’d rather teach my kid to light his farts.
