Flip through any pregnancy magazine or take a walk through your average baby superstore, and you'll be confronted with gadgets that will, if you have any retained any sense, make your eyes roll clear out of your head.
My favorite ridiculous thing when I was pregnant with my daughter was the special CD player that had headphones you could stretch over your belly so the baby could listen to classical music before it was born.
Now, the "Mozart effect" is in fact disputed, no studies have been done on the effect of music in utero, and even if it were as accepted as folic acid and putting down the smokes, why this ridiculous contraption is any more effective than a regular old Discman which you can probably find on eBay for $5 escapes me.
This time, it's the BabyPlus Prenatal Education System (it makes my heart hurt a little to even type that out). I haven’t actually seen the BabyPlus (list price $150) in action, but I have seen (and sighed mightily at) the ads: this little contraption allegedy promises to give your baby a jump start on academic achievement and make them calmer, better sleepers and better nursers. How? By, somehow, communicating to them through the "only language he or she understands – the maternal heartbeat." Which translates to, based on the samples on their website, a slow, steady drumbeat and nothing else. Even though the actual maternal heartbeat is, you know, free.
Blogger Amy Tiemann, http://blogs.cnet.com/8301-13507_1-9834532-18.html who writes at parent . thesis, provides a cogent analysis of why this product bugs so much – it sets expectations crazy high and provides an illusion of control.
"The truth is that BabyPlus can't promise that your baby won't be colicky, or that your child won't grow up to have dyslexia, ADD, or adjustment issues at school. BabyPlus can't promise a stable marriage, secure finances, siblings who get along, or healthy grandparents," she writes.
Amen, sister.
