My family makes me laugh, drives me nuts, breaks my heart, and is fundamental to my sense of myself and my place in the world. The idea of a kid having to go without that, of learning tragically early that they have only themselves to rely on, breaks my heart.
So I triple dog dare you to read these stories from American Radio Works and not cry. They've done a series on adopting of teens from foster care, talking to a bunch of kids who faced aging out of foster homes and parents who found themselves opening their homes to those teens (incidentally, all of the parents they interviewed? Lesbian couples. Score one for real family values).
While the incidence of kids in foster care being placed in permanent families is growing, if a kid makes it into their teens without being adopted, they are unlikely to ever be. They age out of the system at 18 and are cast into the world with only their own experiences to guide them. Many kids who age out of the system face dire outcomes – homelessness, addiction, and poverty to name just a few.
I don’t know about you, but I was barely past the larval stage at 18. If I'd had to survive in the world without being able to turn to my family when I needed advice, support or even a kick in the ass, well, I might not have survived. And that's with the survival skills I picked up in a loving, middle-class home -- I can only imagine the challenge before kids who've never had anyone really teach them anything.
Adopting teens is not always a happy ending, of course – these kids come with a lot of baggage and their new families aren’t always equipped to deal with it. Love and good intentions go a long way but they don’t conquer all. But I love that there are parents and kids willing to try – and in the process find that home they've always wanted.
Photo: American Radio Works
