I think it is just plain messed up when any teen wild oat sowing has repercussions later in life. I mean, how can adolescents really appreciate that current behavior might lead to problems when they are fifty? I'm still stunned I managed to fill out my college applications and send them in, I was so short-sighted. Well, it turns out that being a lush when you are a youngster makes you more at risk for certain problems, and not just being branded "the Beer Bong Queen" by your cohort and having the name stick with you at your high school reunion.

Researchers interviewed 2,818 people (in scientific terms we call that "a good honkin' sample") about their drinking histories and other lifestyle stuff like smoking and exercise. They found that people either tended to drink heavily in their youth, and then taper off in middle-age; or drink moderately throughout their lives. (Note that none of my roommates was ever on the latter trajectory.) Those who partied hardy were a third more likely to have metabolic syndrome, which is a grouping of risk factors for heart disease that includes abdominal obesity, low good cholesterol, high blood pressure, and other stuff. In other words, young drunkery might mean heart problems later. So you know, kids, don't do drugs.