You know "date night"? You're doing it wrong. Or someday you will be. This is what brain scientists are telling us and they should know, right? They're all in happy, sexed-up relationships.
But you like your date nights? You look forward to them? No you don't. And if not now, someday you won't. You're going to get sick of them just like you're going to get sick of your partner. (But remember, that's OK.)
So what can you do on date night to get sparks flying? Well, you're going to have to make some changes. Quit going out to the same restaurant, quit going out with the same couples. Find something -- anything new -- and go do it together.
From NY Times' The Well:
"...couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different
activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of
social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook.
The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the
relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant
or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art
class or going to an amusement park." Yes, but won't the kids be pissed when they find out?
It turns out the brain likes novelty, and new activities stimulate the brain's reward system and flood it with dophamine and norepinephrine -- the chemicals released when you first fall in love and also those involved in drug addiction and obsessive compulsive disorder.
So couples in the study who were told to pace the floor together reported a lower marital satisfaction than the couples who were told to chase a ball while their ankles and wrists were bound. I'll bet they did!
Granted, this study was for older couples in their 50s, but still. Younger parents might want some excitement too!
Personally, I hate the term "date night". I also refuse to utter "girls' night out" but that's just me and my hang-ups with language. Both are worthwhile endeavours that I don't do often enough (calling babysitter right now ...).
