One Tennessee midwife is touting her “orgasmic births” or, if you prefer, births with a happy ending. 
Fellow blogger Kelly has written about the birth orgasm phenomenon here. Now this midwife is selling the baby "O".
Everybody knows you’re not supposed to enjoy giving birth. Now you say orgasming and birth are synonymous? Hmmm. Next time my wife says I’m not being sensually attentive enough I’ll just get her pregnant. Could you hear the rimshot after that one? Here’s another: I once had a girlfriend who said that lots of foreplay gave her multiple births, but I’m pretty sure she faked most of them.
So, birth orgasms, yeah! No longer do you have to hide how powerfully sexy you feel as another human being is clawing it's way out of you. But hold on ladies, read the fine print. At the end of the article the midwife admits the term “orgasmic birth” is not so much a guarantee as a marketing ploy. Some "orgasmic" results might only be metaphorical. Selling products with the promise of unadulterated orgasming isn’t new. Worked for Herbal Essences shampoo and, I don’t know, tube socks? Really, though, read Kelly's original post. A woman suggests you help your sexual pleasure during birth along by making out with your husband. So when you're water breaks, you'd better break out the Binaca because you're in for eight to twelve hours of hot and heavy french kissing.
Photo: www.msnbc.com
About Cole Gamble
Cole Gamble’s writings on the crimes of Willy Wonka, man-eating beds and tales from his cringe-worthy life appear here on Babble, the humor site Cracked, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post and Salon. He is working on a book entitled, Conquer Everything! A Self Help Book to Destroy All Other Self Help Books and Grant You Mastery in Everything.
