Kids these days. Spoiled they is. What do you get the child who has everything? Try and give them something nice like a yo-yo or handful of jacks and they roll their eyes and use their iPhone to flame you on MySpace. Thank god you can finally give win your child love back with a monument to conspicuous consumption: a $300 robot dinosaur.
Seriously people, since we already know the robots will eventually turn on us, why do we keep building them with such dangerous implements like a dinosaur’s crushing jaw, laser cannons and spinning blades. Just seems short sighted to me. Here’s what’s going to happen some rich parents are going to buy their punching bag of a son this robo dino. Said downtrodden boy, deluded with thoughts of revenge, will take to the neighborhood to hunts down all his bullies atop his snuggly cyber beast. And that’s when Johnny Bully will feed the tyke to his very own overgrown Teddy Ruxpin. Incidentally, it's from Playskool
About Cole Gamble
Cole Gamble’s writings on the crimes of Willy Wonka, man-eating beds and tales from his cringe-worthy life appear here on Babble, the humor site Cracked, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post and Salon. He is working on a book entitled, Conquer Everything! A Self Help Book to Destroy All Other Self Help Books and Grant You Mastery in Everything.
