Milk of Magnesia makes that first poop a lot more bearable.  Colase is B.S.  Doesn't work AT ALL.  Go old school.  Thank me later.

After a vaginal delivery the baby’s head can be deformed – I mean seriously deformed, with possibly a big swollen bruise.  Not knowing this almost gave me a stroke, I thought my baby had a tumor.  For the rest of my life my first memory of my daughter’s birth will be – OMG what is wrong with her head!!!

Stock up on Tucks medicated pads.

I'm curious - and a little nervous - what <i>is</i> the most painful part?  I have been really fearing the episiotomy/vaginal tearing part with a lot of dread - I was kind of relieved to hear that that is actually tolerable.  But, if that's the case - what is the worst pain? The contractions themselves? The pushing the baby out? The having to pee every four seconds in the last trimester? 'Cause, you know, that's pretty rough.

To oneontheway, transition has a rep for being most challenging, though it's thankfully brief. The time between dilating and just before getting the go ahead to push is about the most extreme form of stir crazy I've ever felt.

Ditto on the Tucks pads, to which I add the inflatable donut seat will become your best friend.

oneontheway, for me the worst part in terms of pain & panic was definitely transition.  That was followed by 3 hours of pushing, so by the time I pushed my son out (with some tearing), yeah it hurt and I remember saying (well, whining, actually) "ooooooooowwwwwwww", I was just so damn relieved to be nearly done I didn't much care.

I know lots of people who criticize the What to Expect books for being overly alarmist.  But for me, it was actually nice to have almost every possibility covered, so that I had a ready answer, for instance, when I wondered why suddenly everything tasted like I'd been sucking on aluminum.  Pregnancy is weird, no doubt about it.

You know, the comments at Jezebel are almost exclusively from people who haven't actually given birth.  Weird. And yeah, they sure do seem hung up on the poop during labor part.  I guess that's what stands out if you've never done it before, but it's kind of like what you'd expect a group of 4th graders to focus on.  

The worst part of pregnancy (and after!) for me was that my feet went through hell. The pain started in the 3rd trimester - and I acquired plantar fasciitis (WAY more painful than contractions!), which didn't go away until about a month ago (although it still flares up occasionally). My daughter turns one this Saturday. Also, my feet grew - enough that I had to ditch almost my entire shoe wardrobe. To make matters worse, my emergency shoe fund had been coopted by the baby, so I have approximately four pairs of shoes at this point in my life. No woman in her 30s should have to say that.

So, yeah, anything goes. It's weird, it really is.

My OB routinely orders an enema as labor prep.  I was... not expecting that, but at least it spared me the poop thing.

Actually, I criticize the What to Expect... books for saying you can have dessert once a month.  HA Ha.

I don't understand the whole hang-up about the poop thing even now after giving birth. Yes, I did poop except it was during the initial pushing and stretching me out part. I think I did it four times, laughed, and teased my husband holding my leg about it. It's a time when you can poop and not have to clean it up or even be embarrassed about it because the doctors expect it.

The poop afterwards isn't too bad. It took me a day after but I thought it felt great. I say though, don't get hung up on poop. I do remember making the nurses laugh after the birth though. I was showering afterwards and noticed that swelling down there that happens afterwards. I yell out, 'I have balls!' making my husband and the nurses just laugh. ^^ Wish someone told me about that instead of pooping.

The worst part about pregnancy for me was the three months before I gave birth.  I had restless legs, which I had never even heard, nor did I expect to get.  I slept on average 1-2 hours a night for three months.  I was practially psychotic from no sleep.  I tried everything, supplements, excercise, cold baths, hot baths, tylenol pm, mild sedatives, everything and nothing worked.  I'm the only woman I know that was so glad to get three hours of sleep at a time after the baby was born, rather than exhausted from only three hours of sleep at a time.

 Compared to those last three months, labor was a snap.  I was just so glad to finally give birth.

I would say be prepared to be uncomfortable/unable to sleep or breathe (especially if you're short torsoed) for a solid 3 months at the end.  I think I slept better the 12 weeks after birth than I did the 12 weeks just before birth.

The worst part for me was after the epidural was taken out.  The shock and adrenaline and pain meds had worn off and it all kind of hit me like a brick - I was sore, exhausted, overwhelmed, emotional and felt just a touch insane for an hour or so.  And that first trip to the bathroom is a doozy, not only because the plumbing is less than willing to work, but I got really woozy the first time on my feet and almost passed out head first into the toilet.  Thank god for fantastic nurses who don't listen when you say "I'm fine."

For the women who can't handle the thought of pooping during delivery, I always recommend foregoing the drugs. When you have feeling below the waist, you know you have to poop as the head smooshes the bowel. This can be dealt with in the same way one usually deals with this, you go sit on the toilet. Though I personally think the kind of woman who cares about this has deeper issues.

I just went through labor 3 weeks ago and I am already starting to forget about the pain and discomfort that comes from tearing/episiotomy. I think the "epi-bottle" (the squirt bottle you use to squirt yourself while you pee) was the worst part. For the first week I thought I'd always have a busted cooch that required 3 sitz baths a day, but now my only requirement is those Tucks pads the previous posters have recommended. And I'm going to try the Milk of Magnesia suggestion! Thanks.

Have a baseball handy if you're doing natural delivery/no drugs. We learned this trick from our Bradley Method class teacher. I had 44 hours of back labor before my little girl came out. My only saving grace was my husband giving counter-pressure on my tailbone with a baseball every time I had a contraction. He's a big guy and he didn't have the strength to push on my back hard enough for relief. The baseball concentrated his effort into a small area on my lower back.

Once you get hemmorhoids they never go away.  Ever.  I lost eveyr poud I gained and my waist is the same 27 inches it was the day I got pregnant. But you will never look like you did before no matter how much you diet, exercise or have sucked out.  My skin streched out in places I never knew could get big.  So loose skin means MORE wrinkles baby. It is like overnight.  Even if yo odnt breastfeed your tits wil sag more.  During pregnancy, not breastfeeding, your boobs lose fat deposits.  So they are thinner and swing more.  Gross.

Oneontheway the worst pain is the contractions.  I have had four major surgeries, a ruptured ovary, crushed as a child by a collapsing brick fireplace, and a tumor removed from my uterus.  So I aint no stranger to intense, prolonged pain.  But labor pains after the water breaks scared the shit out of me.  I really thought I would die from them.  Before the water breaks they hurt but it is not a big deal.  Once the water breaks the uterus can work more efficiently so it contracts harder.  Imagine squezing a ball full of water as compared to a ball half full.  It is easier to squeeze and you can squeeze the half full ball much more.  My advice, take the epidural!  I almost french kissed my doc when he said I could have one.  I think my husband almost did too.  He was so scared of me.  It is not like on tv honey!  The best part is it does end.  I kept saying either the kid comes out or I can escape this pain by passing out or my welcomed death.  Then bam!  The magic epidural fairy arrived and I was human again.

I don't know, for me during transition when my water broke was painful, but I left my body so I don't remember a bit of it honestly. I only know what people there tell me about it. The 'ring of fire' was most painful, albeit brief in the grand sceme! When the head comes right to the end of the birth canal and stretches your inner labia while you stave pushing to hold it and grunt through it..... O.M.G.!!! I remember that burning far more than the couple of hours of transition labor. No amount of peranium massage prepared me for that!

Something people don't tell you about in pregnancy? The further along you get in pregnancy, the juicier you become in your panties, ladies! I started my pregnancy not wearing undies at all and ended up in pads! No one tells you about that!

Also, if you get repetitive stress injuries from swelling... forearms, wrists and fingers can get mighty achey!

I had two L&D with no drugs.  Of course the second was only 1hr47mins from first contraction to "it's a boy!", but it was still drug free.

I think the most important thing to remember is that (most likely) your body was built with this task in mind.  Yes, it will hurt, but maybe not as much as some would have you believe.  You may be blessed with fast deliveries as I am.  

Don't try to stop pushing, even if you feel poop coming, really no nurse is going to let you off the table to dump while you are actively pushing anyway, one of my friends tore UP, yes that's right, UP! because she decided that she had to wait for the dr.  Nurses do all the work that you aren't doing anyway.  

Pregnancy makes saggy boobs, not nursing, and baby or not, you aren't likely to have the same boobs at 70 as you did at 20 anyway.  Well, unless your name is Loni Anderson, and then you just look rediculous anyway.

You don't actually ahve to scream like a crazy person to deliver a baby.

And down the road, should you decide on a sibling, don't worry about not having enough love.  It sounds totally corny, but when H (#2) was born, I literally felt this warmth come over me, and I knew that there would be enough love to give to as many babies we wanted to love.

People will only ever tell you the worst of the worst, take it with a grain of salt.  I can tell you I live in a huge castle in the swiss alps, or that I like under the tracks in some small down in thailand, but neither would be true.  And you wouldn't know that, because you only know what I want you to know.  Know what I mean;)

In reality, the janitor very nearly delivered #2 because the nurses didn't think I was as far as I was.  And she was doing a bang up job!

I had two L&D with no drugs.  Of course the second was only 1hr47mins from first contraction to "it's a boy!", but it was still drug free.

I think the most important thing to remember is that (most likely) your body was built with this task in mind.  Yes, it will hurt, but maybe not as much as some would have you believe.  You may be blessed with fast deliveries as I am.  

Don't try to stop pushing, even if you feel poop coming, really no nurse is going to let you off the table to dump while you are actively pushing anyway, one of my friends tore UP, yes that's right, UP! because she decided that she had to wait for the dr.  Nurses do all the work that you aren't doing anyway.  

Pregnancy makes saggy boobs, not nursing, and baby or not, you aren't likely to have the same boobs at 70 as you did at 20 anyway.  Well, unless your name is Loni Anderson, and then you just look rediculous anyway.

You don't actually ahve to scream like a crazy person to deliver a baby.

And down the road, should you decide on a sibling, don't worry about not having enough love.  It sounds totally corny, but when H (#2) was born, I literally felt this warmth come over me, and I knew that there would be enough love to give to as many babies we wanted to love.

People will only ever tell you the worst of the worst, take it with a grain of salt.  I can tell you I live in a huge castle in the swiss alps, or that I like under the tracks in some small down in thailand, but neither would be true.  And you wouldn't know that, because you only know what I want you to know.  Know what I mean;)

In reality, the janitor very nearly delivered #2 because the nurses didn't think I was as far as I was.  And she was doing a bang up job!

I didn't poop during either delivery and the first poop afterwards was really no big deal.  I was terrified that it would hurt (thanks, Mom!) but it didn't.  I also missed the part about hair loss after the baby is born and seriously thought I was going bald.

The most painful part, for me, was the tear/stitches with the first and crowning with the second (no epidural).

"Even if you dont breastfeed your tits will sag more."

Nope, not necessarily true. I had my firstborn at 35, nursed him for almost two years, and at the end of it all my boobs looked almost as good as new. Of course, I'm an A-cup, which could be a factor.

As for the post-baby belly, I can't speak for myself because I'm too lazy to work out, but I know a few women who are way more hardcore than I am and their stomachs look amazing after having had a couple kids each.

Okay, nobody's talking about c sections... and they do happen.  Mine was scheduled (super high risk preg) and I have to say that the actual surgery/c section was a breeze.  I felt nothing and didn't have to poop or have an enema.  The pooping issue is during recovery - you have to poop to leave the hospital - and the nurses keep track.  It's not as easy as you'd think!

That said about the c/s being painfree, the drugs were horrid and made me shake violently (not something you really want when your ob's slicing you open!) and when my twins were born, being that I couldn't feel a thing, I heard crying but thought it was another baby in the next OR.  Yikes, not exactly the mindful delivery I'd hoped for!  Then there were the 3 rounds of green barf in the recovery room (you can't eat before surgery so bile is what comes up and it's green - just a warning but it was pretty funny being that it was StPatty's Day - no joke).

Let's see, what else?  The swollen feet that stayed swollen for months afterwards really sucked and ended up distorting my toe nails.  Also not kidding.  The carpal tunnel and numb hands also were not fun and continued post partum too.

Yep, boobs won't ever be the same... belly is not the same either but that might be a twins thing.  Would I do it again?  Absolutely.  Enjoy!!

Updated to add... wow, Doppelganger, I'm jealous!  Boob stats for me -

- started at C cup, went to DD cup in pregnancy, delivered and milk came in and shot right to H cup (yes, H!).  Still have 10lbs to lose and I'm stuck at a DDD cup.  A saggy DDD - oh how I miss my firm C cup boobs.