As someone who went through infertility, I should probably be up in arms about this study done in Australia that shows mothers who went through in-vitro fertilization (IVF) were less likely to feel confident caring for their babies.
But I'm not.
For one thing, the study didn't say these mothers were objectively worse at caring for their babies, just that they felt less confident doing so. And also, anyone who has been through the infertility rollercoaster will tell you, it can do a number on your self-esteem, like this: "Crack whores have babies! Mean people have babies! BRITNEY FREAKIN' SPEARS has two babies! Why can't I have one?"
Add that to the potent hormone cocktail of pregnancy and birth, and that's a recipe for feeling a little shaky when you're finally handed a beautiful little vulnerable newborn and told "go home."
Of the 183 mothers in the study who had gone through IVF, more than half felt anxious about baby care when they took their baby home from the hospital (to which I say, only HALF? Did they make sure the epidural or whatever feel-good drugs they use had cleared from the other half who said they were just fine?). At 18 months a third still did not feel totally confident and 17 percent had been admitted to a residential early parenting center.
(Yes, a residential early parenting center. Apparently new parents in Australia can stay for a few days at these places, and get expert help with sleeping and feeding difficulties. And it's free under their national health care system. I could weep…)
Study author Dr. Karin Hammarberg said it's important all mothers to be knew that having a new baby could be isolating and exhausting, and that needing help was, as she put it, "normal and universal."
To which I can only add: Amen, sister. And, I love Australia.
