We've all heard the news and economic reports, this is not a seller's market for babies. That said, you shouldn't be discouraged. There are plenty of ways to prepare your baby for the market and attract buyers, even now.
1) Clean up and repair your baby. We all have those little baby improvement projects we keep putting off. Perhaps the baby you have was your first, back when you could only afford a “fixer-upper.” Maybe your baby leaks or cries too much. You may have gotten used to those charming flaws, but believe me, a new buyer won't. Now is the time to break out the caulking gun and elbow grease.
2) Create the impression of other interested buyers. Nothing motivates a buyer like the idea that your baby is a hot property. While showing your baby to a couple, tell them, “Sorry to hurry this along, but we have another buyer on their way. Honey, what time did you say Angelina is coming by? Oops, I've said too much.”
3) Use “selling” terms. When describing your baby, some adjectives sound better than others. In your advertisements, instead of referring to your baby as “dumpy”, try “cozy.” If your baby is “stinky” that's “traditional charm.” Simple word usage can create an entirely different perception. So remember, your baby is not “stupid” but “whimsical.”
4) Offer Incentives. Nothing can get a young couple into parenthood like the phrase, “Zero percent financing for 24 months.”
5) Give it a new name. Yes, we all applaud you for the courage to name your child Odin or Dogflower, but hipster irony isn't going to move babies off shelves, now is it? A new name is like a new coat of paint on that old lemon of an infant. I'll let you in on a secret, do you know what the most popular car color is? White. Almost quite literally the vanilla of colors. People like what's familiar. Consider changing your kid's name to Michael, or Emma, or if you must spice it up, Austin. A timely name can also woo a hesitant buyer. Why not capitalize on the current political climate? If you see your buyer wavering say, “Oh, did I mention his name is Obama? Obama Clinton Edwards.” Be careful, though. A baby named “Ron Paul” is the kind you talk about buying, one you respect on merit, but would never seriously purchase.
6) If all else fails, how about renting that old baby? Not everyone is ready to buy, and let's face it, your baby has seen better days. Don't call it a wash and throw in the towel. Become a landlord, I mean babylord. There are plenty of vacationing couples who only want a baby while they are in town. Struggling college students are always looking for cost-effective ways to have a baby during those lean years working towards their law degree. You could even time share. Just check out the renter first. Renting to a fraternity only means your baby is going to get a lot of wear and tear. Constant parties and general lack of respect and maintenance to your baby will drive down his or her resale value.
Image: www.scary-truth.com
