Weebles never, ever lied to us.
Their slogan told us: "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down." And they didn't fall down. No matter how long we held that Winnie the Pooh Weeble's head to the floor, it sprung back into a vertical position. Those egg-shaped toys couldn't be knocked off balance. They were reliable, unflappable, even inspiring. They were like that Maya Angelou poem: Still, they rose.
They also had a really cool boat and an awesome haunted house. And that made them even better.
So why aren't Weebles around anymore? They stood -- or rather, wobbled -- among the toy elite in the 1970s, the decade that gave us numerous Weeble characters and a vast array of Weeble playsets, from pirate ships to submarines to Disney's Magic Kingdom. A few years ago, Playskool tried to relaunch the Weeble brand with a new, updated set of toys. But they were all wrong.
They didn't look like cute, little eggs. They just looked like freaks with no necks whose feet had been amputated.
PlaySkool no longer makes Weebles, but I say they should give it another shot. Launch Classic Weebles, toys that look similar to the ones so many of us Xers grew up with. Partner with Pixar and give us Nemo Weebles and Remy the Rat Weebles. Create the Harry Potter Weeble Playset, or Dora the Weeble Explorer Adventures.
Really, the possibilities are endless. And people will buy them. After all, who can resist a face like this?
RetroFitted appears on Strollerderby every Thursday morning.
Photos: Retro Toys and Secret Fun Spot
