A survey has concluded that men with QDS (Quickie Dickie Syndrome) are doing just fine, thank you. The "optimal" time for intercourse is -- wait for it -- between three and thirteen minutes.

That's quite a range if you think about it, especially for parents. Three minutes, you can do your business while the kids are getting dressed for school. Finding thirteen minutes is much more difficult.

I'm not knocking anyone for the length of their "act" -- far from it. Once children are in your house, anytime you can find, you take. (Which is I had a little trouble buying this story.)

The researcher, Eric Corty ("who, it must be noted, is male" says the article -- nice) conducted his study to help couples "relax a little bit." Because obsessing over the length of your coitus is verrrry relaxing.

image: flickr.com

And apologies to Steve Martin, from whom I paraphrased the title of this post.