Strollerderby

I fed my firstborn every two or three hours in our family bed for the first year of his life. Sure, he was a crappy sleeper, if you define "crappy" as "not sleeping through the night." Or you could just write it off due to the fact that HE WAS A BABY. He's three now, and he sleeps like a teenager -- eleven or twelve hours straight every night, plus afternoon naps.

So feh to all the fearmongering "sleep experts" who seem to think that babies are just miniature grown-ups.

You know, there are countries throughout the world, Japan for example,  where it is totally the norm for babies and small children to sleep not only in their parent's room but in their beds. Sometimes due to space issues they family sleeps in the same room until the kids leave home.

They pick up their crying babies.  They cuddle them.  They give them whatever they need so that everyone can get as much sleep as possible.  The kids aren't neurotic, obese, or poor.  They are also totally independent and able to function in the world.  

I just don't get American "baby experts."  Do they get a secret bonus from the government for every baby they manage to keep isolated and ignored and every parent they make feel bad about themselves?  

Yeah.. I just don't believe it.  As long as you have a routine and actually make them go to bed at a reasonable hour, I'm pretty sure everything will be fine.  I've never let my kid cry himself to sleep and I probably won't do it in the future.  (I'm not hating on parents who ferberize their children, btw. If it works for you, then fine).  I'm just kind of tired of these experts acting like I'm going to ruin my kid for responding to him.

I would bet they're talking about kids, not babies.  If they're talking about not putting a TV in the room... I mean, who designs a nursery with a Playstation in it?

I pretty much did EVERYTHING the so-called experts tell you not to do. Fed baby everytime he woke up; picked him up if he was crying; brought him to bed when I was too exhausted to even sit up while breastfeeding him... At 7 months he started sleeping through the night, and I still feed him to sleep every night. I just can't see what is wrong with all these things, which just seem the entirely natural response to most parents.

I do, however, firmly believe in the fixed bedtime and bedtime routine. Once you set the kid's body clock on the right rythmn, the day seems to unfold that much easier.

Babies, toddlers, kids.  Doesn't matter.  Parents should do whatever they need to do for their child and their family without some so-called expert telling them what they are doing is wrong, and there is always an "expert" out there to tell you you are wrong no matter what you do or don't do.  

My daughter slept in my bed until she was three and then moved into her own room with her own bed without any trouble at all.  Aside from climbing back in with me due to a bad dream now and then she is fine and in perfect health, mentally and physically. I am doing the same with my son, and he is just fine too.

Eh. We are those lucky parents everyone hates with the kid who has always slept well. What did we do to achieve this? Nothing. We just got a good sleeper who only wanted to sleep in his crib. Screw the experts. You gotta do what works for you. I hate experts.

I dunno - I would really like mine to go to sleep without patting him on the back for 5 minutes, or even having to leave my shirt in his crib (he's old enough not to smother) because he keeps waking up to make sure I'm still there. I tried CIO tonight, but that's way too stressful. How do I get him to go to sleep on his own?

He seems to have weaned himself of the middle-of-the night bottle, but he's still waking up at 5 AM to come back to bed with us so I can nurse him first thing. It would be nice if he woke up for that at 6:30, first of all, but I think it's about time to break him of that habit, but how? - he's been doing it the last 8 months. Now I'm wishing I hadn't started it, because it'll probably be bad when I stop it. Especially since he bit me this morning.

And what about naps - he thinks he doesn't need the mid-day nap, but he definitely does. And I can't get him down for the afternoon nap without a bottle or nursing him. What happens when I wean him completely?

I thought this article was terrible.  Way to pile on the guilt!  So many factors can affect sleep.  Teething, sickness, vacation, you name it.

Our biggest problem is that our kids share a room.  What are we supposed to do, move?  When we're not ready to move?

The sleep experts can suck it.

I guess i'm in the minority here- i've followed the so-called experts and it has worked for us without having baby cry it out, sleep in our bed, wake in the night, or need to eat in the night. Basically we keep the kid on a schedule and do pick up/ put down when she did have any trouble.

She's been sleeping through the night, for 12 hours, in her own bed since four months. But, to each his own and whatever works for you! :)

I'm responding to steffmarcusky here specifically cuz she seems to be asking for suggestions- here's mine- get the Tracey Hogg 'Baby Whisperer' books- we've followed them and they've worked really well for us all and the baby is happy too! Can't beat that!

Oh but I did mean to also say it's not cool for the article in question to make parents feel bad about their choices- especially when it's not hurting anyone!

steffmarcusky, I hear you. Our daughter still wakes at 5 like clockwork for a tiny snack and then goes back to sleep until about 6:30 - and she's just over a year. Other than that, she sleeps great (unless she's ill, and then, if she wakes, I go to her and GASP! even nurse her) - down at 7pm since she was about 5 months old and only wants to sleep in her crib. I can't complain. She did try to shun naps when she was about 5 or 6 months old, and I played along for about two weeks, until I was too exhausted and let her CIO for a nap. She cried for about 15 wrenching minutes and then promptly fell asleep. Next nap (same day), only 5 minutes. And that was it. No more crying and she still takes (knock on wood) two fine naps a day. I think they do try to assert themselves at a certain age and you have to do what's best for them - it's a rare child that needs no naps before they're 2 or 3 at the very least. But as someone else said about bedtime, once they have a reliable schedule, other things fall into place. Including, for us, the nursing to sleep. Once she had a good nap schedule, she went down without too much of a fuss without the boob.

Every kid is so different. I'm willing to bet half of these sleep experts have never had children.

Our pediatrician told us sleeping until 4/5 am is making through the night. Yikes! But if you are trying to wean night time feeds and the clock says 4 when the baby wakes for the first time, it's awesome to be able to say an expert says go ahead and feed the baby. We then get another two plus hours of sleep. Good luck!

What is the baby really is just that hungry in the middle of the night.  Our 13 month old still wakes up once a nice for a bottle.  Anywhere from 2 to 5am.  Then sleeps until 7:15.  He wakes of lots  of other times during the night, but goes back to sleep without any intervention from us.  When he needs a bottle, no amount of soothing, patting, holding will remedy the problem.  The poor little guy is starving.  He's only 5th precentile for weight, so I really don't think I can follow the experts and just let him cry.  He eats plenty for dinner and has a bottle before bed.    I can't go back to sleep if I wake up really hungry, so why should he?

My older son (now 5) slept in our bed, nursed during the night, and every other "bad" thing, until he was about 1 1/2 y/o.  (My theory was if it worked for most of the world it would probably work for us.)  At that point, I was pregnant with my second son (now 3 1/2), and figured I should transition the older one to his own bed. We had no problems with the transition, but then it turned out his little brother hated co-sleeping and would only sleep in the crib.  Go figure.

Then at 2 1/2 the younger one started sleeping in our bed, until about last week, when he apparently stopped cold turkey.  Just as well, my third son is due any day now.

That being said, both boys had no problems sleeping through the night.  They both gave up naps at a fairly young age (1-ish), but they both go to sleep between 6:30 and 7 every night.  Of course, they wake up at 6:30 every morning, but after several weeks of going to bed late (in hopes they would wake up later), I've come to accept the fact they are just early risers.

BTW:  Neither boy is over-weight, despite my horrible parenting in regards to sleep habits, allowing them to watch tv, play video games and eat non-organic foods.  Imagine that.

I don't understand why there is all this guilt, blame and fear around children's sleep in this country.  It's just insane.  I don't know anyone who never awakens in the night or gets up early or can't get to sleep sometimes.  I don't know why we should expect children, especially babies to self-soothe and sleep for 10-12 hours a night every night.

Our son slept in our bed, got nursed several times a night, etc.  He made the transition to his crib in his room at 1 year.  He sleeps great now at 20 months (for now).  I think having your baby/child in your bed or room is the best thing you can do, provided you all get your rest.

I love seeing the comments in re cosleeping.  We have done this w/ each child (thru infancy and early toddlerhood) because it felt right - gut instinct - and because they all breastfed past 12 months. So far everyone is turning out fine and appears secure, etc.  I am probably over-sensitive about this particular issue, but it seems that cosleeping is one of the more stigmatized choices made along the way... It is refreshing to see so many people "admit" it.

What's interesting is that there are well-researched, peer reviewed studies that support co-sleeping and comforting your child at night.  They show that babies who had their needs met turned out to be more secure and independent as children and young adults.  In fact, there is also evidence that the easily awakened baby who sleeps near parents and suckles frequently at night is at far less risks of SIDS.  What is interesting is that Harvard was also behind a study that showed the cry-it-out method was harmful (google "cry it out harvard").

Whatever.  If babies were meant to sleep through the night, then they would do it naturally.  But they don't.  Once they get past the teething and growth spurts, they start to settle down.  No biggie.  It's hard to believe that you're going to ruin your kids by loving them and meeting their needs.

Our baby slept in our bed until about 4 months when she moved to her swing (gasp) until 6 months. At 6 months she went to the crib, finally ready to sleep without being rocked. Would have kept her in the bed much longer except she was one of those "all-night nursers" who would snack every hour and I had to go to work so I needed a decent night's sleep. She slept all night (8-6:30) starting at 5 months and has not stopped this routine. She's now 10 mos. Still naps 2x a day, sometimes 3.

Let's all throw out that issue of Time. Here's an idea: what if the problem isn't with HOW we get them to sleep, but the AMOUNT and quality of their sleep?

I have always tried to protect my kid's sleep habits as though sleep is an essential nutrient for proper growth and development (yes, under the tutelage of Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, which I highly recommend). Children thrive best when "fed" a regular diet of high-quality sleep. Especially the consistent early bedtime and naptime. Ever notice how many parents tote their tots around at all hours of the day and night, expecting them to catch a nap here and there in the carseat or stroller? That freaks me out. I bet those are the kids who wind up suffering health consequences later.

Jen: do whatever works best for your kid to make sure he gets the sleep he needs. When he's sick, of course he'll need more help! Enjoy the extra cuddles! Save your guilt for something else.

This article cracked me up! I laughed out loud. Thanks!

And yeah, these stupid sleep experts... when people ask me if my baby sleeps all the way through the night - I really have no idea. I'm busy sleeping, and nurse him in my sleep, and everyone's happy. Everyone is surprised that I get sleep. But I do. I have to!

Guess what? He's the happiest baby! And so is my toddler, who also slept with us.