I just don't know how neat freaks can marry slobs. I mean, it just seems to me like that would be setting yourself up for one very tense household.
Sam R. Hamburg agrees with me. A clinical psychologist and marital therapist, Hamburg recommends in an article on CNN.com that couples talk specifically and extensively about their housekeeping expectations before they move in together.
What if you skipped that step? If you're already married to a slob, Hamburg still has recommendations for how to make it work.
First of all, Hamburg feels it's reasonable that the person who cares what the house looks like should do the bulk of the work. If you think that's unduly punitive to the neater spouse (while at the same time reinforcing the slob's messy tendencies), you might try a compromise solution: prioritize the chores that really need to be done, and try to find a level of organization the slob can maintain and the neatnik can tolerate.
You might also consider allowing the slob one room of to destroy as he (or she) sees fit. Conversely, the neat person might stake out a room as a refuge from the clutter in the rest of the house.
Finally, Hamburg recommends that those who can afford it hire someone to do the work, if it ends the arguments. It may seem extravagant, but we have a housekeeper and I will say I would rather swear off restaurants, vacations, theater tickets, you name it - than give her up.
