Gay men—once seen as the paragons of lusty bachelorhood—are
now giving a whole new meaning to the term “family values.” As more and more
homosexual couples opt for parenthood, it becomes increasingly clear that, for
many people, the gay marriage movement is about more than spousal benefits: it’s about loving couples wanting to build
families together. In the May issue of Details, writer Edward Lewine examines a movement that has become so popular, it’s
earned its own moniker: the gayby boom has arrived.
Though firm numbers are hard to come by, it would be difficult for any member of the gay community to deny the rise in parenting among homosexual
male couples. Lewine points to Circle Advocacy in Boston, which matches potential parents with
egg donors and surrogate mothers. While the
agency worked with almost no gay couples a decade ago, its clientele is now 90
percent gay.
This drastic shift also points to the fact that more and more
gay men are opting for in-vitro fertilization or surrogate motherhood, as
opposed to adoption. Not only do the former options allow men a genetic link
with their children, but they also shield potential parents from the lengthy,
emotionally draining adoption process. And since many states don’t allow people
who aren’t married to adopt, adoption is not even an option for many gay
couples. (And it’s too bad, since taking parentless babies into a loving home
is, in my opinion, one of the best things a person can do for the world. Alas, occasionally puritanical legislation does not serve the greater good.)
The gayby boom is not limited to couples, with many single
gay men more than willing to pay between $60,000 and $150,000 to becoming
doting fathers. (Those numbers reflect the cost of in-vitro fertilization, in
which an egg is fertilized in a lab and then placed in the surrogate’s womb;
naturally, it’s cheaper to simply give a surrogate a syringe with some sperm in
it.) According to Lewine, single parenting is considered "hot" in the gay male community, a sign
of assertiveness and the ability to commit. I can think of a few single mamas
who are going to pretty jealous when they get wind of this one….
Photo: Details (Ryan Pfluger)
