Get Ally Sheedy into make-up and fire up some El Debarge: A remake of the 1986 family-friendly movie "Short Circuit" is currently in development.
If the memory is a little fuzzy, the original "Circuit" was a comedy about a military robot named Number 5 who gets struck by lightning and becomes pseudo-human. I last saw the movie 22 years ago at a shopping mall movie theater in Rockville, Md. Here is what I remember about it: A. the aforementioned El Debarge theme song, "Who's Johnny," and B. the fact that at a time when hormonal changes and the fumes from excessive hair mousse undoubtedly impacted my capacity for rational thought, I still felt sorry for Ally Sheedy for starring in what was clearly a major step down from "St. Elmo's Fire."
Still, "Short Circuit" generated enough revenue to merit a sequel, the creatively titled "Short Circuit 2," which came out in 1988 and had something to do with Number 5 going to New York or some crap like that. To be honest, I was too busy "Doin' Da Butt" at that time to pay close attention. The sequel didn't do nearly as well -- this is what happens, ladies and gentlemen, when you don't get Steve Guttenberg to sign on for movie No. 2 -- and that pretty much marked the end of the robot franchise. Until now.
I am of two minds about this remake concept: From an artistic point of view, I think it's a stupid idea because it's an update of a movie that was mediocre at best. It's like going back to a restaurant because the food gave you a stomach ache but didn't make you throw up. I mean, really, why bother?
But from a business point of view, it's actually kinda smart. For starters, if they get past-"Short Circuiter" Fisher Stevens to sign on, they could attract a few of the "Lost" fans, who have recently seen Stevens on the island in the role of George Minkowski. Also, the theme about valuing the human spirit over machinery is still relevant and might make parents, the same ones who saw the original movie two decades ago, feel good about taking their kids to go see it.
And, as many others on the Web have pointed out, Number Five bears a striking resemblance to Wall-E, the robot star of this summer's big Pixar flick. Seriously, tell me these two weren't separated at birth?
Assuming "Wall-E" is a hit -- and odds are, being a Pixar movie, it will be -- young kids will undoubtedly be totally on board to see another robot flick. Yes, their parents might roll their eyes at the blatant attempt to piggyback on the animated movie's success. But children don't care. If they like one robot, they can just as easily like another. And that could mean the updated "Short Circuit" will make a perfect RetroFit.
Now I close by bringing you the fine musical stylings of El Debarge and a music video that can charitably be described as totally cheese-tastic. Enjoy.
RetroFitted appears on Strollerderby every Thursday morning.
