What better way to celebrate the upcoming Mother’s Day than with a list of all the lies Mom told you?
Here’s the one my mom always laid on me: cracking your knuckles is bad. Well here I am, still popping my knuckles. How do you like that ma? Now would someone pick up my coffee cup and place it in my claw.
Here’s another: kids shouldn’t drink coffee, it stunts their growth. I did, and it didn’t. Nothing got me ready for a day of kindergarten like three or four cups of black coffee. Didn’t stunt my growth one bit, I’m like 7’5”. (Margin of error +or- 2 feet)
Among mommy’s other big untruths:
Sitting close to the TV is bad for you.
Don’t make that face or it will stay that way.
Swallow that gum and it will sit in your stomach for seven years. Wait an hour after eating before swimming.
Check out the full list here.
So there you go, mom, I can see through your lies. Happy Mother’s Day!
