Strollerderby

From the Time article:

"At the heart of the debate is the fact that the foster care system has a disproportionately high number of black children, and on average they languish there nine months longer than white children before moving to permanent homes. The latest federal figures showed 32 percent of the 510,000 children in foster care were black in 2006, compared to 15 percent of all U.S. children.

Of the black children adopted out of foster care, about 20 percent are adopted by white families."

So let's make it harder for those kids to get adopted!  Letting these kids be bounced around from foster home to foster home instead of with a stable, loving family is a much better idea.  Because, let's be honest, once you're adopted into a family of the same race, you don't ever have any problems.  Ever in your life.

Fabulous idea is right on the money.

Let's not make it difficult to adopt these children, but yes, we need to have the perspective parents understand and adapt to the issues their children will face. Parents shouldn't be chosen based upon race, but they certainly should be chosen based upon their ability to raise the children in a stable, healthy environment. Part of how a white parent provides that environment to a non-white child is by educating themselves and tackling some uncomfortable facts about our society.

If a parent is unwilling to do training or to even talk about the race issue, they would not be the ideal parent for a non-white child. However, how many parents looking to adopt a non-white child are going to pass on having a child simply because of some classes and conversations with a case manager or social worker that specifically pertain to the child's non-whiteness?

I think that a law requiring such steps wouldn't slow the adoption rate at all, it would simply weed out those few parents who lack the sensitivity and understanding to raise a non-white child in this society.

The article dances an awful lot around what the actual problem is. Here is where it toes closest:

"Too many white adoptive parents, she said, underestimate the enduring presence of racism in America and don't get training that would help them raise a black child."

So, in a nutshell, white parents can't raise black kids to be black enough?

Society's mental retardation regarding race and behaviour is no reason to keep children out of differently-colored homes.

It's not that white parents can't raise black kids to be black enough, it's that a black child is going to face a lot of things that his or her white parents never had to face.  Isn't it in everyone's best interests for those white parents to have at least thought about this, and to be prepared to deal with it when the time comes?  I didn't read anything in the article that said black children shouldn't be placed with white parents, it's saying that those parents should receive training so they understand what they are getting into by choosing to become a transracial family.  I am in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and have to go through several different trainings about the different issues involved in adopting a child from a different culture, and yes, one of those trainings will be about issues of race.  I'm amazed that people adopting from the foster care system don't have a similar requirement!

And no, the rate of adoption from Ethiopia is not slowing down because of this requirement, if anything it is on the increase.

What about bi-racial marriages? Plenty of black children out there have a white biological parent. Should that white parent have to go through training on how to raise a black child? Or is just loving the child and being its parent enough?

Liz, the problem is not the training, though in principal I worry about putting up any barriers to people adopting US foster system children, especially minorities. It's tough to get people to take these kids.  I see, for example, that you're adopting but you're not gonna either.

But still, the real problem is it's trying to return to the days when social workers are allowed to use race as a sole criteria for adoption.  The National Association of black social workers has been flat out and unapologetically against interracial adoption (whites getting black kids specifically) for years, and before the 1994 Multi-Racial Placement Act made it illegal, many black social workers refused to allow black kids in their case-loads to be adopted by white parents.  Period.  On principal.  The emotional needs of the children and the stability of the parents be damned.

Would classes and racial sensitivity classes be a good idea?  Hell yes.  Should they be available?  Yessiree bob.  But not this.

(Full Disclosure. I have several family members of various races who have been adopted out of foster care.  I have children out there who aren't in my life anymore in part because of racial preference adoption policies)

No one wanted to adopt them so they let families of other races (caucasian) adopt them.  So if they are not longer allowed to be adopted by other races they stay in foster care? This is so wrong.  It wil jsut leave more children without families and I feel it is very racist.  Can you imagine if we told a black family they could not adopt a caucasian or child or another race?  I remember during our adoption the judge asked me in front of my children, on the happiest day of our lives, why we "went out of the country to adopt?  Why not adopt a child here in the US?"  What a dick!  I said, we tried but were turned down because we are a biracial couple.  Basically wrong color.  Damned if you do and damned if you dont.  Children will suffer from this. There is already a huge shortage of foster families out there and a bigger shortage of black families who want to adopt.  This racist agenda will only hurt the children it was meant to help.

FYI GiantPanda: multiracial children (for example, a child of a Black parent and a White parent) have their own specific issues. I'm a multiracial person, as is my husband, and now also our daughter, so it's something I am quite familiar with. Our parents raised us to identify ourselves as Multiracial. They did not simply apply the antiquated "one-drop" rule and force us to only culturally identify ourselves with the non-white parent. America likes to put people into little categories and boxes. Sometimes our perceptions are drastically different from the reality. Education is never a bad idea. I don't see a problem with increasing our knowledge to benefit our children. And yes, parents in Multiracial families often educate themselves about the issues their children will face because it is new territory. The Mavin Foundation(www.mavinfoundation.org)is a great resource for both Multiracial Families and Transracial Adoption.

I am a white mother to two black children adopted out of the foster care system.  So it should be no surprise that I have an opinion on this one.

The black children who are in foster care were abused by their black biological parents, a fact that is clearly being over looked.  Child abusers come from every race, culture, and socio-economic background.  However, so do good parents.  The goal of adoption through foster care is to move the child from the abusive situation in to a loving, nurturing and permanent home.

There are challenges associated with being white and raising black children.  I was caught off guard when my daughter came home and told me that a girl in her class told her that she wasn't allowed to play with my daughter because she was black.  However, I was equally surprised when someone decided that it was alright to talk to my children about a vote that their father had made as an elected official in the county.  I stammered a little when my son told me he heard a word he didn't know and wanted to know what "rape" was.  My point is that you can never be prepared for everything that your children throw at you not matter what the racial make-up of your family is.  By focusing on only one challenge that parents might face you are raising that issue above all others in importance.  Is that what we are saying?  Race is the ultimate trump card?  That is certainly not what I am teaching my children.

I make sure that my children are well versed in black culture.  My daughter loves to read about the Civil Rights movement and probably knows more about the key players and events of that time than some adults.  She thinks it is absolutely crazy that there was a time when our family would not have been allowed to exist.  It is like studying another world for her.  Here's the kicker, I am teaching my white children the same thing.  So they are growing up more aware of black culture and isn't that a good thing?

We take special care to insure that our family is integrated in the wider world and that our children have friends and companions of every race.  However, we don't dwell on it or make it the central theme of their up bringing.  We want them to grow up to be the best of who they are not the best black version of who they are.

Yes there are differences between being white in America and being black in America.  However, if we ever want that divide to close, we need to stop separating the races and focusing on what makes someone black enough or too white to understand.  If everyone, white or black, had a member of their family of another race, that would end racism.  It is hard to hate that which you love so dearly.

To "what a fabulous idea" (sorry, I don't know what else to call you!):  I did consider adopting through the foster care system, but what it came down to for me was the age of the children available.  As a first-time parent, I didn't feel prepared to handle any child over the age of toddlerhood.  I haven't ruled it out as an option down the road as a way of adding to my family, but for right now international adoption is the right choice for me.

"Laundry & Children," thanks for a view from the trenches, so to speak.  I am someone who likes to be as prepared as possible for things - that's why I'm here reading a website on parenting when I don't even have a child yet! - so any kind of pre-adoption education makes sense to me.  I know that it's impossible to be prepared for everything, but if I at least know in advance some of the issues I am likely to face as the white mother to a black child, I can think about how I want to handle them.  I am taking the same approach to potential medical issues, potential issues with developmental delays, potential attachment issues, all the issues that potentially might come up in adopting a child from another country, as well as all the issues that might come up in just being a parent in general!

I don't agree that children are necessarily better off with parents who are the same race, but I don't have a problem with the issue of race and how to deal with it coming up as part of the adoption process.

My brother is black, I am white. We're both adopted.

I strongly, vehemently disagree with any attempt to restrict who can adopt a child, or whether a child can be admitted into a loving home, based on the race of child, parents, or anyone else.  I know that's not exactly what's going on here, but I feel like it can lurk at the edges.

More education isn't a bad thing, necessarily - counseling might be helpful. Especially as the children grow and age and have to struggle to come to terms with their racial identity vis a vis society and vis a vis their family.  Not that anyone is offering that, are they?

My family got no education.  We did all of our own reading, thinking, resolving on our own - and paid for our own therapy as well.  Some assistance and support would have been fantastic.  

I just hate when further barriers get erected to adoption. There are many people who want to be parents - to actually parent.  Those people should be allowed to parent children who need families. (Not for those who want to <i>have a baby</i> which is a separate issue that adoption can't help with. It's important to know the difference.)So, help is good.  But how helpful are these trainings going to be?  Will race-based trainings be led by people of all different races - black, African-American, Latino/a, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian, et c, et c? Prejudices are different, and so are the issues.  And white people often have no idea what it's like to live, daily, with prejudices of any of that sort.  I fear the practicality will just be another obstacle adoptive parents face, rather than something really useful.

Laundry and Children, I love the end of your comment so much, and I couldn't agree with you more.

I am a foster dad of two very gorgeous children. I am in the process of adopting them they are a sibling group one just had their 1st bday and is biracial hispanic and black this child has been in my home since 2 days old I am the only parent this child knows ive had the oldest for 8mths and the oldest is black what gives anyone the right to say as a white parent of any race children we can not provide love,safety,and instill the values of life. I am offended any person saying I am harming my childre by adopting and giving them the love and respect they deserve is ignorant in the matter of parenting.

What is race-oriented pre-adoption training anyway? If we are going to keep perpetuating the notion of culture being inherent to an entire race of people (people who happen to share the same skin color in America), then why are we surprised that bigotry continues to rear its ugly head?

What would be taught in this training?

What if the child is "black" but has roots from the Caribbean? Will this 'training' take this into account?

As a family who just went to an informational meeting on adopting our second from a foster home..this is sad to hear. The social worker clearly pointed out that if we wanted a caucasian (assumed I was caucasian) that we will be waiting a long time..because what they have in the system is minorities (primarily african american and hispanic children). We went there not caring at all what we got. We just wanted a baby.

The kids are better off in a loving home. Not in the system..no matter what the race of their future parents is.

you should be looking at WHY the surplus of children of color exists and solve its root causes. maybe the real solution to this disparity is to improve social services and tip the balance of class and race.

you should examine deeply why you want to adopt and if so, why trans-racially?

you should know that your child of color will forever experience the world differently than you - no matter how much you try to ignore the fact, or educate yourself to its issues, or attempt to be understanding.  that looking different from your family becomes a daily reminder of the loss of your race and separation from its culture.  it is a deep deep wound and the racism the child will experience only exacerbates the isolation your child of color will feel.

you should question why you want to put a child through this  constant daily identity crisis.  the adopted child already has enough to overcome.

you should stop talking to each other and ask us adoptees of color about our experiences.  you should ask birth mothers about their experiences.  and if you truly are altruistic and want to save the world, you should look at how your dollars and privilege might be better spent helping many women improve their situations or sponsoring children, etc. to PREVENT the relinquishment of children and the rupture of families, instead of going for the feel good idea of the rainbow family.  

and if you're so concerned about getting children out of the system, why limit your benevolence to babies?  

ask, ask, ask yourself many questions.

take a good HARD look in the mirror.

race IS an issue, as much as we'd like to sweep it under the rug.  and everyone considering a transracial adoption should definitely get training as to all of the issues surround it.   perhaps the key to the law requiring equal training is to place transracial training in ALL prospective adoptive parents training.