Strollerderby

Just Say No

Posted by Adrienne Martini

Allegedly, the word that toddlers hear up to 400 times a day is "no." Like so many words, "no" loses its power the more you say it, even if you mean it each and every time. But toddlers have a way of pushing boundaries and getting themselves into all sorts of situations that require a "no." What can you say instead?

And, um, "hell no" isn't one of the options. I checked. 

Redbook magazine offers six ways to tell your kid "no" without actually saying that word. All of them strike me as the sort of phrases one learns when one is training to be a middle-manager or car salesman. Both jobs, it dawns on me, do have a lot in common with raising toddlers. 

I'm torn - sometimes you just have to say "no," don't you? Or is it better to use a Jedi mind trick rather than stating a fact?


+ DIGG + STUMBLE

Comments

 

Sue said:

Gee I dunno. A stop sign doesn't lose effectiveness to drivers just because it's used a lot. I think "no" might lose its effectiveness because a parent may not always follow through with the end result (taking the toy away, removing the child, etc).

July 1, 2008 2:17 PM
 

nic said:

In my neck of the urban woods, a stop sign doesn't mean sqwat.  

July 1, 2008 2:42 PM
 

froggemom said:

I think a firm No with some distraction or other option work wonders for little ones.  At least in our house. We do work hard to not tell the kid No 400 times a day, but that's more by being a litlte flexible with our expectations.

July 1, 2008 3:15 PM
 

Manjari said:

I actually like the Redbook article, and I do think those ideas work well with my children. It just helps to steer them in the right direction in a positive way most of the time. I have fallen into the trap of saying no too often, and I just don't enjoy the sound of myself saying it. When I try to use the word sparingly, I think it gets more notice (depending on the way I say it).

July 1, 2008 3:58 PM
 

Ella said:

Distraction, and most importantly, tell them what you DO want them to do.

EX: Instead of, "Don't throw that!"

say: "Roll the ball please."

or "Let's go outside and throw the ball."

Young children can't always figure out what else to do when they're in the process, ball in hand, target eyeballed. Help a kid out.

July 1, 2008 9:14 PM
 

Sherry said:

Oh, yes, we must never be negative and use the N word.  

I use  "no, don't..." then point out what they can do.  To use the above example, "No! Don't throw the ball in the house.  Roll it on the floor."  If they continue doing what I told them not to then there are consequences.

"no" like anything else will be ignored if there is no follow through or consistence.  I am not concerned about being negative as the rest of the world isn't going to wrap life up in a sweet sugarcoating of positivity for my kids.

July 1, 2008 10:08 PM

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