Babble

a magazine and community for the new urban parent

Strollerderby

20 Disturbing Baby Products

Posted by Brett Singer

I freely admit to a bit of jealously with this link, since it would have been nice to come up with it myself. That said, we have hit on a few of these in the past, such as the infant high heels, and the Thudgard helmet. And I had a note to write about the Pee-Pee Teepee at some point because, like, it's called the Pee-Pee Teepee. So we're still pretty damn cutting edge over here.

Many of the items on this list are so wacko that they really should be fake – such as the strap on nursing apparatus for men. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Zaky® Infant Pillow

Sleeeep... sleeeeep my child....
Cue the Addams Family theme – this thing is both creepy AND kooky, and yes, altogether ooky. Who the hell buys one of these?

Hamburger Baby Costume

Baby burger with a side of fries
This is just funny. Especially since it looks to be designed for infants who don’t' get around so well.

Manual Snot Sucker

I'm gonna suck that snot right outta your nose, I'm gonna suck that snot right outta your nose...
First of all, the product name is "Nosefrida". Second, it's described as "hygienic" despite the fact that you are connecting your mouth to your baby's nose via a tube. And third… well, just see number two. That should be enough.

Baby Mop
Baby Mop, Baby Mop, you know I love my Baby Mop...
OK, look. I know its wrong. I do. But come on. Isn't this sort of a good idea, in a way? In a weird way? No? OK, OK, I'll cancel my order. (Really? You don't want one?)

Check out the full list at Cracked.com, which is a very funny site. For what it's worth, I used to read Cracked as a kid, when it was considered a lesser version of Mad Magazine. They've been back for a while now and so far it's good stuff.

source/images: 20 Baby Products Great For Traumatizing Infants, Cracked.com

Related:

S&M Barbie

Hulk want puny blogger to review Hulk movie

Best of Droolicious: July 18 Edition

10 Signs You Might Need a Childfree Vacation

Man locks daughters in cage while he works


Comments

 

Kris said:

We have the Nosefrida. There's a filter between you and the snot, and it works really well.

As for the creepy pillow, that might have worked for one of the babies at daycare who wanted to be touched all the time, even while napping.

July 18, 2008 5:33 PM
 

Britt said:

We have the Nosefrida too.... love that thing. Saved us many sleepless nights.

July 19, 2008 9:05 AM
 

Liane said:

Yep, we have the Nosefrida as well. Works sooo well and comes with lots and lots of filters.

July 21, 2008 10:18 AM
 

Sally said:

I'm kind of all over the baby mop - though I wish they made it for dogs. Now that would be awesome for when the puppy decides to scoot her butt all over the floor.

July 21, 2008 1:45 PM

About Brett Singer

Brett Singer is a writer and father living in Manhattan with his wonderful wife and two terrific sons (referred to here as Thing 1 and Thing 2). He writes about music for the Boston Phoenix, sports for Go2.com (a text messaging company) and other topics for anyone else who will have him.

in

GROUP BLOGS

  • Strollerderby

    The smartest, funniest, most exhaustive parenting blog in the blogosphere.
  • drool.icio.us

    The top million must-have baby products.
  • FameCrawler

    Your daily baby celebrity fix.
back to blog homepage