Strollerderby

As the parent of a daughter who will turn 5 just before the kindergarden cut off, I worry about the impact that red shirting boys will have when she's in middle school.  Will I really be comfortable with my daughter being in a class where a large portion of the boys are at least a year older than her? A year make a big difference at that age, and my 11 year old being in a classroom with 13 year olds gives me pause. I'm not try to stereotype boys as being a corrupting force, I would have to same problem with a room full of older girls.  Kids that hang out with older kids tend grow up faster, that's just a fact.

Katherine, I sympathize with you...

I did not redshirt my son who is an early August birthday. There are three other boys in his class with Summer/Fall birthdays that did not redshirt (two are twins and both parents are teachers-- one elementary, one high school-- which can give you an idea of how some educators feel about the process). That being said, all the other boys, except about two of them are redshirted and I see the differences already as far as bullying being more "sophisticated," etc. Sure it worries me and will continue to, but I don't regret my decision b/c my son was more than ready for kindergarten and I cringe when I think about him having been home another year and starting this fall!

I didn't redshirt my son.  Seriously, I didn't even think about doing it even though his birthday was July 1st, and he was to be the youngest in his class.  His preschool teachers and the kindergarten teacher who tested him told me everything would be fine.  Academically it was, socially he is immature.  Studies tell me he should catch up by third grade, but that is a long time to wait.  I don't know if I would do things differently, but it is something to consider.

In hindsight, I think I should have "redshirted" my second son, who has an August 1st birthday.  He was a late walker, potty-trainer and was socially not really ready to sit still for 50 minutes at a time in kindergarten.  He was academically ready - he could read at age 3 - but socially so not.  He has gotten through the first few years of elementary school at a very academic public school, but not without a lot of extra attention from his wonderful teachers.  I'm worried that this year, in the third grade, his immaturity may get in the way of his learning.  I wish I'd have kept him in another year of preschool to mature and socialize.

My nephews who have late fall birthdays started kindergarten later.  They have not suffered, and one is entering college this fall, at age 18.5.  I couldn't have imagined him starting college a year earlier at age 17.  I'm glad my sister kept him home the extra year.  I started kindergarten at age 4 and I suffered socially for many years being the smallest and socially inept.

My son (Aug. 11 b-day, school cut-off Sept. 1), started kindergarten last year, when he was 5.  He was literally the second youngest not just in his class, but in the entire grade.  That being said, while I was concerned about his ability to focus in school (and this was all-day kindergarten), he totally rocked the grade.  His teacher was constantly amazed by his excellent vocabulary and natural leadership skills.  But enough about my little genius. :)  

It really just depends on the individual child.  

As far as worrying about the age differences when the children are teens:  By teenage-hood, these kids are going to be in a high school where they are constantly rubbing shoulders and interacting with kids who are up to four years older or younger than them.  Not to mention by high school (or even junior high), there are going to be kids who have been left-back, skewing the age range of kids in a particular grade.  And, on top of that, you have elective classes (art, music, etc.) and extracurricular activities where kids are, once again, going to be thrown in to groups with other kids up to four years older or younger.  It's unrealistic to expect an 11 year old to be grouped only with 11 year olds by that point.  Yeah, most of us don't want their kids to grow up too quickly, but the reality of the situation is that you can't keep kids segregated by age forever (and if any of their friends have older siblings, the kids are already exposed to the horrid influences of unruly older children).