In today's Morning News, we're caging the pitbull until the very end. Why? Because we can. And we're rather Palined out.
Plus,
there's so much more to talk about! Fat lazy people, fat pregnant moms,
skinny kids made fat, and brand new kids made by unidentified fathers
(celeb birth after the jump!).
We also have higher low prices
for discount shoppers, higher math grades for happy girls, lower school
performance for bouncy boys, a melting ice shelf and ... full circle
... Sarah "Drill, Baby Drill" Palin and her reluctant embrace! (All
packaged nicely with a saucy "thanks for saving my campaign" pic.)
Take a sip of coffee and let's get started.
It's back-to-school (for the Obama girls, too), so we're talking about a new study showing what parents have long suspected: boys suck at school (or school sucks for boys, you decide). At the same time, girls are doing much, much better at math and science, provided they have support and positive experiences with engaging teachers. (Think they'll share that with the rest of the class?)
While we're on boys, Minnie Driver is the mother of one. She gave birth to Henry Story Driver in Los Angeles on Friday. She still won't identify the father, but he will apparently be involved in the upbringing. (Will he have to wear a bag on his head?)
In pregnancy news, if your OB told you to lose weight during pregnancy, don't. A new study shows that if you restrict your caloric intake, you may be dooming your unborn child to a life of chunky thighs, triple chins and Type II diabetes.
If you're fat and not pregnant and really, actually, truly want to lose weight, the secret has been found! Vigorous physical exercise! Huh. (We'll stick with the thighs, thanks.)
Barack Obama is set to give a major talk on education today. Learning good, failing bad? We'll get back to you with the deets. In the meantime, join Obama's pile-on where he questions Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae CEO's golden parachutes. Nation's biggest bailout and the failing bosses still get paid? We want that job!
Sadly, a multi-million dollar severance package won't go as far at the 99 Cent Store as it used to. The famous retailer has raised its prices .99 cents, thereby making it the Almost a Dollar Store (whew! Dodged that trademark bullet).
If you're Jewish, skip the cheap stuff and make a quick $50k just by being you. Though a certain amount of compromise is involved.
Finally ... your Daily Palin: Ever notice that John McCain and Sarah Palin always hug (or buy salsa -- see above pic.), but they never shake hands? Why is that? The NY Times, which will leave no Palin stone unturned, talks to experts about her stiff running mate hugs and his stiffer kisses for Cindy.
Frigidity aside, the Associated Press has a report on an ice shelf the size of Manhattan breaking off in Canada's northern Arctic and melting into the sea. Nothing -- Ms. Palin, we repeat NOTHING -- to do with global warming. It's just what ice does. It melts!
Photos: dailylife.com; adn.com
