Interesting today is "hump day" because today's
news features Obama's sex ed policy through the filter of John McCain's
campaign. This, naturally,
leads to a story on teen condom non-use, which makes us think about
pregnant teens, which makes us think about ... you're getting ahead of
me ... our Daily Palin! (No questions please!)
And more, much
more. We have a sorta-celeb apologizing for calling his wife "huge,"
Obama not apologizing for NOT calling Sarah Palin a pig, Schwarzenegger selling out Republicans, the pain of childbirth in a
cave and links to a FREE music download (only Elisabeth Hasselbeck would actually pay for it).
Drop the baby in her exersaucer and curl up with your laptop. Let's start with something light:
Jerry O'Connell told People magazine
he was sorry for calling his wife, Rebecca Romijn, "huge" in a recent
appearance on Conan O'Brien. Why? She's freaking pregnant. Since when do we apologize for pregnant women being large? At least he
got some attention. (Who is this guy again?)
Video of Elisabeth Hasselbeck criticizing Michelle Obama is making the rounds. The conservative host on ABC's The View didn't think too highly of Obama's list of off-limits topics when she appeared on the show a million years ago. Prediction: Hasselbeck is really going to go ballistic when a certain VP nominee shows up in the Green Room. Her off-limits list includes ... everything!
Back to sexier things: McCain responded to criticism of his educational "policies" with an ad saying Obama thinks kids should learn about sex before they learn to read. Obama's response? You're wrong ... and perverse ... an not terribly original! McCain used the same tactic against Mitt Romney. Question for McCain: what's wrong with teaching the pre-literate about fending off pedophiles, which is what the Kinder curriculum would have entailed?
Sidenote: study of why U.S. teens just don't use condoms. Sen. McCain, would you care to comment?
Speaking of pervs, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger made some trans-atlantic news after he laid into Republicans, calling his state's party leaders "out-there" and saying McCain only wanted him to speak at the RNC so that he, Schwarzenegger, wouldn't be so centrist. He also called Palin "good-looking" and "feisty." Grrrrr. His handlers are saying something was lost in translation (the interview was partially in German). We agree. He probably meant to call Palin "hot" and "bitchy."
In other Neanderthal news, turns out birth 40,000 years ago was pretty much what it is today. Heads of newborns were just as big in the caveman era as homo-sapien heads are now -- both a tough fit in any era's lady pelvis. Of course, we don't mean to imply evolution is anything more than a story.
Did somebody say "creationism"? Time for our Daily Palin: The vetted-in-one-day candidate -- whom voters have fewer than 60 days to decide if they want a heartbeat away from the presidency -- is sticking to her stump speech. Which is kind of strange since we now know her "Bridge to Nowhere" stance has, um, evolved. And the eBay jet didn't sell to the highest online bidder. But nevermind. She sounds great! Makes us feel good ... tough mama! Fiscal responsibility! And that's so cool how she billed Alaskan taxpayers for per diem and time spent -- at home! Was it for all that take-out after she fired the chef?
But you can't mask change, Obama says. And you can't speak in metaphors, McCain's campaign cries! Stop calling Sarah a pig! (We repeat, Obama did NOT call Palin a pig ... but McCain wants him to stop anyway.)
This just in ... judge raps Palin for child abuse? ... read more here!
Morning News would like to leave you with a song: Drill Here, Drill Now, by Aaron Tippin. Get your free download and start singing!
Chorus:
Drill here, drill now
How ‘bout some oil from our own soil that belongs to us anyhow
No more debatin’ we’re tired of waitin’ everybody shout out loud
Drill here, drill now
Photo: mondaymorningmemo.com
