When a child learns to poop or pee in a toilet on their own, it’s an event worthy of a tickertape parade. Or at least you’d think so based on how parents react to this milestone. Who can blame them? One family’s diaper budget can equal the gross domestic product of a small Pacific Rim nation. But sometimes maybe parents want too desperately for the independent potty to come. So they turn to science, or more to the point, weird-ass inventions.
The Potty Pony
For the tyke who needs to defecate on the go, this horse shaped toilet teaches your kid to poop and also a healthy disdain for nature’s creatures. If this one works out for you, I just wouldn’t take junior to a petting zoo thereafter.
Potty Monkey
Who knows more about poop than monkeys? Oddly enough, this do-gooding monkey doesn’t want to teach your child to fling her feces, but rather deposit it in the bowl. Potty monkey insists your kid take him potty, and if they resist, monkey gets agitated. And that when the feces flinging begins.
Potty Mate
You know what will get your kids over their toilet fear? Talking toilet paper. The Potty Mate seeks to give your child encouragement when he reaches for the roll. I could use one of these. Instead of potty time encouragement (I am pretty good at that now, thank you) it could give me more specified approbation. “Hey, it looks like your hair isn’t thinning as rapidly before. Way to go!” OR “Don’t listen to them, 31 isn’t too old to start a hard-core thrash metal band.”
Potty Targets
These must be the most sensible gadget on the list. Put ‘em in the toilet and your boy plays William Tell with a quiver full of urine. Just make sure you don’t leave the extra targets just lying around.
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