Strollerderby

What was your fake baby name?

Posted by Brett Singer

Butch Huskey, who we never really considered named our kids after, but it was fun to tell people that we were.The most recent Babble List features 33 of the dumbest celebrity baby names.

This reminded me of something my wife and I had some fun with before our kids were born: fake baby names to torture the grandparents.

While she was pregnant, the wife and I came up with ridiculous choices for names and tried to convince our parents that said names were under consideration for our offspring. Some examples are Butch Huskey Singer, Wade Boggs Singer, and Pincus Tyrone Singer (the latter only if we had a girl, of course).  Other not serious choices were Roc Singer or Oprah Singer. (Rock? Opera? Get it? Anyway…)

I'm curious – does anyone else do this? Or are we alone in our attempt to amuse ourselves?

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Comments

 

MidwestMommy said:

Right after Gwenneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple" we joked that we were going to name our daughter "Banana". They didn't really take us seriously - but we did end up referring to the fetus as "Banana" until she was born and named (appropriately I might add)

September 25, 2008 11:17 AM
 

Em said:

In the earliest days of my pregnancy, we said that if it was a boy, he was going to be Huey Lewis, and if it was a girl, she would be Shakira Shakira.

When we found out it was a boy, we just took to referring to him as Mr. Baby, mostly because we hadn't decided on a name.  Mr. Baby is now 9 months old, and I still call him that name on occasion (though never Huey Lewis.)

September 25, 2008 11:49 AM
 

leahsmom said:

My mom told my grandmother that they were calling me "egg" or "lima bean" - even after I came home for a while!

September 25, 2008 12:06 PM
 

feefifoto said:

Oh!  Oh!  Pick me!  Pick me!

I didn't want to hear anyone's opinions on my choice of names so each of my kids had fake names.  My son was Robespierre and my daughter was Cleopatra Queen of the Nile.  One of the nurses in my doc's office thought I was serious with Robey.  She said: "Robespierre?  That's ... nice."

September 25, 2008 12:07 PM
 

hfalola said:

Mustache Jenkins was the best one.  My husband still insists that he is not kidding and really wants this to be the name of our next kid.

September 25, 2008 1:56 PM
 

Sparrow said:

Batman, Heironymous, and Rupert.

September 25, 2008 3:16 PM
 

daisy_grower said:

We had Helmut and Cuervo.  Michael Phelps is on the way!

September 25, 2008 3:28 PM
 

Chelsea said:

We told my husband's grandma we were naming our girl after her...her name is Dencil Cleora.  She had a FIT!

Our son was referred to in uetero as "Bean" and was born with a bean shaped birthmark on his belly.  Be careful what you wish for!

September 25, 2008 3:31 PM
 

Brett Singer said:

WOW. These are all brilliant. I'm particularly fond of Mustache Jenkins and Shakira Shakira, but they're all great. Keep 'em coming!

September 25, 2008 3:44 PM
 

Molly said:

I'm pregnant with my second and we've been telling people we're considering "Wasilla" as a possibility.

September 25, 2008 4:23 PM
 

Cecelia said:

We called her/him Taylor Taylor (our last name is Taylor)!

September 25, 2008 5:58 PM
 

Kim said:

We have been claiming "Scrumptous" is our baby-on-the-way's name.

September 25, 2008 6:35 PM
 

Allie said:

When my husband told me that the baby was the size of a hand, I immediately pictured the Hamburger Helper dancing in my stomach. I called the fetus Hamburger Helper (Hammie for short!) or Fetus Rossignol; neither one stuck once I popped, although I suppose a future 15-year-old nicknamed Fetus just isn't cute.

September 25, 2008 7:46 PM
 

Sparkiy said:

I wanted to use the middle name Danger for a boy, but no one would let me. I had a girl, who has been nicknamed noodle.

September 25, 2008 8:19 PM
 

km said:

Our first we called Pokey, our second Exacto, and our last we were calling Von Baron.

September 25, 2008 11:21 PM
 

rockin' grandma said:

Baby(my only) was called HOMER in utero. Then we got a dog and named him HOMER. Baby was not named HOMER. . Hmmmm....

September 26, 2008 9:02 AM
 

E said:

We called our in-uterite "Mehitabel," because my husband was vexed by my calling her "The Parasite." There were, of course, many jokes between me and my husband about my "Mehitabelly."

A lot of people assumed that this was the real name of the baby -- inevitably, people lacking a sense of humor or people who thought we were really, really whacked.

Other in-utero names for babies I know include "Zelda" and "Irving." I really wish "Zelda" had stuck -- in the end, the child was named Nina. I think "Zelda" has more zing, though...

September 26, 2008 9:11 AM
 

Amy Kuras said:

My daughter was Jermajesty, Apple Whizdom and Tayshaun Chauncey Wallace (this was 2004, when my husband's beloved Pistons won the NBA championship). My son was, yes, The Parasite (which now that he's here and the sweetest, nicest, smileyest little baby I could have possibly hoped for, I feel really bad about).

September 26, 2008 2:15 PM
 

LogicalMama said:

First my son was Blastocyst.

Later he became Marvel. Little Marvel! I told my sister that we were naming him Marvel because he would be our "little marvel to behold..." she responded with, "that's....... sweet!"

After he was born, one of my dearest friend's sent me a congratulatory card and the front of the card said, "MARVEL!"

September 26, 2008 3:30 PM
 

boop said:

Our son was Klaus von Baby until the day he was born, even before I knew it was a boy for sure.

September 27, 2008 2:06 AM
 

baby names meanings said:

LOL that must have been so funny. I am 22 weeks pregnant and starting to look for names. We never thought of that. Will try it and let you guys know how it goes! I'm surely it will be hilarious.

September 28, 2008 10:06 AM
 

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October 10, 2008 2:31 PM

About Brett Singer

Brett Singer is a writer and father living in Manhattan with his wonderful wife and two terrific sons (referred to here as Thing 1 and Thing 2). He writes about music for the Boston Phoenix, parenting for Babble and daddytips.com, and other topics for anyone else who will have him.

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