Strollerderby

Those poor kids. Why didn't this guy seek some real help? I find men often give themselves the "get out of jail free" card when it comes their kids - I'm thinking of my own husband when faced with a crying newborn - just deal with it!

And what's up with the selfishness: "I hope they know I love them," ??? I doubt that very much now that they live in various foster homes, separated from all that comforted them especially after the death of their mother.

Ugh, I feel sick just thinking about it.

Probably so many kids because like many poor people they could not afford birth control.  At 40-75 dollars a month for BC pills that is steep.  Is sex only for the middle class and wealthy now?  There are few if any free clinics anymore because the religious right has run them all out of town because they want poor people to have more babies.  This guy did his best.  There are few social services for the poor anymore.  This guy is not selfish bu turning them over to DFACS, he is the most unselfish hoping his kids can eat properly, have heat, a home, clothes, go to the doctor when they are sick.  When you are poor and homeless you dont have these things. Love and comfort odes not fill your tummy, keep you warm in Nebraska with winter coming or make you well when you are sick. Those kids know he loves them.  He gave up everything to take care of them, even gave them up.

Was there some reason the older kids couldn't or didn't pitch in?

Well, this is the first I've heard of the story, so I'll have to go Google it.  Just from what I've read, though, it seems like a tragic situation all around.  Does the guy not have any family to speak of?  No parents of his own, in-laws, siblings, cousins that could have helped?  Where I come from family is a big deal and I know that if anything were to happen to me, my family would help out in any way they could to make sure my daughter and my man were taken care of.  Did he look into other options before he decided to take advantage of this law?  I disagree with other comments that there is little help for the poor.  That is a cop-out.  It's so easy to blame others for one's own misfortunes, but regardless of fault (whether or not there is any), each person has responsibilities. How we take care of those responsibilities makes us who we are.  I do not believe this man did everything he could to take care of his family before giving them up.  I just did a Google search on help for the poor in Nebraska and there seems to be quite a bit of help out there.  

I don't understand why he thought quitting his job was going to help him take care of the kids.

Were the older kids too much brats to help with their siblings? The 18 year old was so estranged she couldn't stick around to help out?

I always thought those large families had lots stronger inter-reliance.

K, The oldest daughter did pitch in extensively. In fact, I'm guessing that it's she who did most of the parenting (she was an honor roll student and very responsible) as this parent seemed to be psychologically unstable, especially if he was unable to go through social services or churches or relatives (who have since taken in the children) to help. Both vasectomies and condoms are cheap, relatively speaking. I don't have too much sympathy for this guy. There is no reason to have that many children except out of ignorance and selfishness or refusal to use birth control.

How do you know he was the one refusing to use birth control?  Family decisions are just that - decisions made by mothers and fathers.  And whether the decision to have a large family was made because of religious reasons or just because they wanted a large family - or for any other reason - I don't feel like I could call them "ignorant" or "selfish."  How does that help? Maybe the large family thing was working out just fine until the mother died.  How much would childcare cost for a family of that size if a parent were to work full time?  

Not that this justifies his decision.  I don't know all of the facts, and I doubt I will.  But I do know that this is probably not a decision he could have undertaken lightly.

I'm guessing that he didn't have the ability/programming to accept help until he was too depressed to be able to deal with it. I really think there's a mental health issue that he didn't take care of for himself, and potentially even for his children. And from there, he didn't realize that he could take advantage of other governmental programs, and just fell apart.

Steffmarcusky said it well.  Perhaps he wasn't giving them up, he was giving them more, as the pro-birth, anti choice ad's say.  So all you anti abortion folks, who say that babies shouldn't be aborted because there are all these wonderful homes to adopt them, step up to the plate and offer to adopt the teenagers in foster homes who were TAKEN AWAY from their parents.  I had great parents, but I KNOW I wouldn't want to live with someone who didn't want me, couldn't care for me,  or didn't want me to live with them.  

Having 9 children is socially irresponsible in this day and age of limited natural resources.   Poverty is not an excuse for not using birth contol.  Not only are condoms cheap and readily available, but Planned Parenthood provides subsidized birth control pills on a sliding scale based on abilty to pay.  It is unfortunate the PP is demonized by the social conservatives who have such tunnel vision that they miss the fact that PP provides a WIDE Range of services, such as family planning, STD treatment, etc.  It is all about empowering woman.  Clearly this poor woman who died while birthing her 9th child was  not empowered and didn't have access to resources to control her own fertility.