To cut or not to cut: that is the question. Any parent about
to have a boy faces this quandry. In ancient times circumcision was a must.
Lack of proper hygiene made foreskins a liability. This is the modern era,
however. The old slice n’ dice routine is more choice than mandate. Some of you
made your decision the second you discovered the sex of the baby. “I’ll chop
the sucker off myself if I have to.” Some of you were a bit more hesitant. The
same problem saddled my wife and I two years ago. One of us was very pro-circ
(wife) and the other less so. For full disclosure’s sake, I myself am not
circumcised and it doesn’t bother me one iota. So I laid out my case to save
the foreskin. Here’s is what I told my wife:
Penis Styling as Fashion
Save the religious exception, most parents chose to cut
because they simply think it’s a more fashionable look. The line I got from my
wife was, “Girls like them better.” To which I replied, “You married me, didn’t
you?” At which point she added, “Oh, but yours is…special,” patting me on the
head reassuringly. Um, nice save. My father in law tossed in his two cents:
“The boys in the high school showers will make fun of him.” “Oh really?” I
said, “Well then my son can just say, ‘Dude, you’re the one staring at my
penis.’” Face it, parents circumcise because they want their boy to be like all
the others. They’re shaping their child to conform from birth. Is that what you
want, a conformist? Do you want to a kid who is a genital sheep, or do want one
who rocks the system with a penis with personality?
Great Names
All the euphemisms for circumcised are played out. Bald
headed soldier. One eyed snake. Yawn. Think of a cut penis as a wellspring of
inspiration for new names. Like “The Sleeping Bag” or “Mr. Turtleneck.”
Men with Uncircumcised Penises Have More Pleasurable Sex
Okay so you’re not giving a lot of thought to your child’s
future sex life. Fair enough, but many experts believe that circumcision leads
to lessened penile sensitivity because the foreskin is jam packed with nerve
endings. It is even said that an un-snipped penis is better for the woman as
well. Leave the foreskin alone and, believe me, your son will thank you years
from now. Not that you would ever, ever, ever want him to.
Possible Surgical Risk
Any and all surgery (and circumcision is surgery) comes with
risk.
It Is Not Too Much Trouble to Care For
This was the big argument my wife trotted out. “You don’t
want to clean it everyday, do you?” Turns out you are not even supposed to
touch the thing until the boy is three, and by then it pulls back naturally and
you clean it just like you would a normal penis. So there, you penis scrubbing
fanatics!
Read Part 2: The Pros of Circumsicion
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