Strollerderby

I don't mean this in a smug way at all, but we just don't spend much on our toddler anyways. Most of the things she likes to do are free, or close enough to free: parks, library, public pool, beach, tickle attacks. I never went without as a kid, but from what I recall you got presents at xmas and your birthday, and that was it. Anything else you had to work for or use your allowance. I agree with the OP I think we could all use a bit of belt tightening.

We go without excess crap. We go without restaurants for the most part. We didn't do a huge birthday bash for anyone this year.

The important thing is that our 3 and 4 year old are able to eat as healthily as ever, have clothes without holes in them, and appreciate the many toys they already have.

Overall just by cutting back and sticking to our budget we haven't felt much of a pinch...

Going without MEDICATIONS? For CHRISTMAS PRESENTS?! Yeah, that'll teach the kids about all the self-respect mommy has, how much value she has in the family... how their toys are more important than mom's health... sick.

When my family hit hard times when I was growing up, my parents were honest with us- not going into details, but we knew that they didn't have as much money right now, and we'd need to cut back a bit on shopping and whatnot. We survived. In fact, I think it gave us a better appreciation of the ups and downs of personal finance.

These kids who aren't experiencing any changes- what happens when they grow up and can't afford something? How are they learning to do anything differently from their parents? Hello, credit cards...

If we'd say "no" in the first place, we wouldn't encounter nearly as much whining anyway. We're on a budget and do gifts for Xmas, b-days, saint's days... I might break down and buy my son a $3 truck from Walgreens, but that's it.

Why are parents paying for a 23 y/old's cell phone bill? Yeesh.

(That said, I wouldn't be indulging in luxuries and expecting the kids to give everything up... I'm just saying there should be some balance)  :)

I agree in general, but it's a fine line.  

We've been out of work for going on a year.  We've cut back on all kinds of things and we've never, even when times were good, bought whatever crap the kids want at Target - there have always been limits and trying to teach that the world doesn't owe you everything you want.

But.

It is not fair for us to export our fears about money onto our 5 year old.  He can't go out and earn money to help pay the mortgage.  He's a child and shouldn't be burdened with the adult worries as much as we can possibly protect him from them.  We've dropped some of our extra activities, but I don't tell him it's because we're out of money.  That's not his job to worry about.  So will we cut back on adult presents so he can get one of the things he's asked Santa for?  Absolutely.  

I think there needs to be balance. To be fair, I grew up in a family where money wasn't an issue, but my husband's family still struggles to get by. They demanded rent from him starting at fourteen, and refused to co-sign for his first student loan unless he took an extra $5,000 out to 'save them from foreclosure' on a house they ended up losing two years later. As an adult, he has a warped view of money. He doesn't want our child to go through what he did, and doesn't want to discuss financial planning with our child at all. I think his upbringing proves that budgeting and money consciousness needs to start young, although not as bleakly and fully as it was for him.

BettyWu, I think your situation is entirely different. I understand your need to insulate your child somewhat from what is happening financially in your family. There is such a thing as too much worry for a child. Some of those moms are giving up important things so their kids can have whatever they want. Those are the parents that are going to end up with spoiled brats for kids, and then society will get them as spoiled adults. I think we all know those adults now - the ones with a sense of entitlement who expect to always get their own way.

My toddlers, like Treespeed's child, like to do things that don't cost money. I cycle their (very simple) toys every few weeks, so they always seem fresh and new to them. We are lucky enough to get plenty of hand-me-downs, and I buy the rest of their clothes cheap. I admit I haven't yet experienced older children who might ask for more stuff. I do think, though, that we are trying to raise them to not be quite so greedy for things. If and when we have any extra money to spend, it will be for experiences, such as traveling.