Ed. note: Today's list is brought to us by Babble contributor Tammy La Gorce.
Sometimes, the world according to Peanuts makes the most sense. An example: If the fall calendar at Lucy, Linus and Charlie Brown’s preschool included marching in a Halloween parade, the parents wouldn’t have shown -- Snoopy would have heckled Charlie Brown from the sidelines while a crowd of large-headed children and a few adults speaking the language of “woh” looked beatifically on. By the time the whole thing wrapped and special snack was served, everyone would have dispersed to talk a little philosophy over candy corn and caramel apples.
Life, of course, is way messier than Charles Schulz prepared us for. Which is why you should count on not only attending the preschool Halloween parade, but also on fellow parents moaning every step of the way.
Herewith, 15 things that parents bitched about at last year’s parade. Will anything other than an intervention by the Great Pumpkin himself make this year’s any different? -- Tammy La Gorce
1)“If Aidan’s mom had told me he was going to go as Iron Man, I would have sent Matias in something different.”
2) “I’m trying to get a decent shot of my daughter but the princess hat on the girl in front of her is blocking everything.”
3)“I told Mrs. Daggett to check the Velcro on that puppy costume. Look at it -- it’s going to fall off him by the time they round the corner.”
4)“Did you find someplace to park? I parked three blocks away. Barely made it. There’s way too many grandparents in the parking lot.”
5)“It’s freezing out here. Couldn’t they have moved it to the auditorium this year?”
6) “It’s such a nice fall day. Why do they have to do it inside where we can’t see anything?”
7)“The class mother in Miss Sarah’s group brought Dunkin’ Donut holes. I thought that wasn’t allowed.”
8)“Why do they have to start at 10:30? Do they think nobody works?”
9)“They should let the kids stay in their costumes all day -- Sydney’s going to scream holy hell when they try to take her Abby Cadabby headband away.”
10)“Isn’t she a little young to be watching ‘Hannah Montana’?”
11) “I wish they wouldn’t give them snack right after the parade. Do they really expect them to eat their lunch in an hour?”
12) “There’s your son’s pumpkin painting on the wall, right there at eye level. I can never find my kids’ -- they always hang them too high.”
13)“The guy they bring in to film these things has the shakes, did you notice?”
14) “Look at all the Indiana Joneses, Doras and Pikachus. What ever happened
to being a ghost?”
15) “If they invite us into the classroom when it’s done, there is no way my kid is going to let me leave."
