Strollerderby

Mom Won't Let Eighteen-Year-Old on Myspace, So He Stabs Her

Posted by JeanneSager

Shelley Sue Pangle might want to pick her battles next time. The Iowa mom told her six-foot-two, three hundred twenty pound son he couldn't use Myspace anymore. Then she tried to confiscate his cell phone charger. Now she says the eighteen-year-old stabbed her. Can you blame him? 

Before you get all horrified, don't worry. Pangle is fine. The "stabbing" was a cut on her wrist. Her son, Terry Gene Starnes, was arrested on charges of aggravated assault after police picked him up, riding his bicycle to get away from Momma Lift, er, Pangle. When she'd banned him from Myspace, the Associated Press reports Starnes became agitated started packing his bags to leave. She was trying to take the charger when police say he pulled a knife from his pocket and cut her. Then he took off on his bike.

What part of "he's eighteen," did this lady not understand? Banning him from Myspace? Taking his cell phone charger? Not letting him pack his bags? He's a big boy - in more ways than one (no dig at his weight intended, but it would make me think twice about messing with him). Is this taking parenting too far?

Image: Myspace

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+ DIGG + STUMBLE
Posted Nov 06 2008, 10:26 AM
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Comments

 

Trey said:

Oh, okay, so you side with the person who uses violence?

Nice...

Can I blame him? You bet! He's an adult!!!

He may be 18, but he's still under her roof (I'm presuming) using her electricity and stuff. And, who's to say that she wasn't justified? Why did she ban it? Regardless, violence is NOT the answer. And, condoning violence certainly isn't (shame on you!!!)

You've dropped the ball on this one.

November 6, 2008 11:52 AM
 

leahsmom said:

Trey - I am kind of with you on the "live in my house, obey my rules" thing - no matter what age you are. Although I also think that you have to set reasonable rules, and I do wonder how appropriate regulating the internet use of a teenager is - although not if it was mom's computer.

And, while I think Jeanne would never condone violence, I do have to say, in response to "What part of "he's eighteen," did this lady not understand" - what part of "cutting someone with a knife is no way to solve a dispute" did this kid not understand?

November 6, 2008 12:26 PM
 

Sabrina said:

Was he still in high school?  If so she had EVERY right to tell him what to do, impose punishments on him, and basically punish him like any other parent of a teenager.  Taking computer/cell phone access away is a pretty common punishment!  And, if he has graduated already, he should still be following her rules if he's living with her!  I'm 25 and married with 2 kids, but we still have to respect our parents and follow their rules if we stay at their homes!

November 6, 2008 12:33 PM
 

JeanneSager said:

Point taken, Trey, violence is never the answer. And the use of a weapon particularly is over-the-top.

But I have seen too many mothers who can't get a handle on where their lives end and their children's begin. My house, my rules can only go so far. Not allowing a grown man on Myspace? Not allowing him on porn because his little sister might see, not allowing him to sit on the Internet all night because he should get a job . . . that I see. But at 18, you have to begin to let our kids make some of their own stupid mistakes if they're ever going to learn to function in society.

And when an 18-year-old wants to storm out because he's angry, you let him. He's not 6 and in danger of being picked up by a pedophile. He's 18. Trying to rip his cell phone charger out of his hands sounds like this mother began the violence.

November 6, 2008 12:37 PM
 

Knitty said:

Oh good lord.  When I lived with my parents, I never for one minute doubted that under their roof, it was their rules.  Not because they were autocratic or abusive, but because it was their house!  

We haven't even heard the mother's side of the story, and I suspect she has a very good reason for not letting her violent, short-tempered son on the Internet.  No, he's not in any danger of being "picked up by a pedophile," but perhaps he's a danger to OTHERS, as his reaction to his mother's rule suggests.

November 6, 2008 12:54 PM
 

Denkpaard said:

Amen, Trey. Since when is cell phone or Internet access a right?  I was 25 years old before I had either item.  He should be held accountable.  If he can't abide by Mother's rules he needs to leave her house.

November 6, 2008 1:33 PM
 

Angela said:

That's ridiculous. He lives with her and now that he is an adult he needs to follow her rules or get out.

Nuff said.

Violence if for adolescents.

November 7, 2008 11:18 AM

About JeanneSager

Jeanne Sager is a writer who lives in upstate New York with her husband, daughter, a dog and too many cats. She refuses to believe motherhood comes with pumpkin appliqued sweaters, and she';s not ready to apologize for having only one child. She writes about raising her kid in her own hometown and the mom stuff she's not embarrassed to own at her blog, Inside Out (http://jeannesager.blogspot.com), she's contributing editor of Grand Magazine, and she's a regular essayist here on Babble

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